I have, for the most part, always been the way that I am - I'll get to specifics in a second. As a kid, I could feel the energy off people, animals would always follow me (still do), and babies love me (and I them!). I started having sleep paralysis and lucid dreams from 5, that's as early as I could remember, and I remember being "born" (which is a whole other story).
As I grew up, I'd share with my sister my "feelings" which were really premonitions, but she thought I was crazy - until she started "feeling" the same things. Even though she didn't believe it fully, often times, I guess it would overload on her and she'd run to my room to confirm if we were feeling the same thing. Also, if both of us focused of something, it would 99.9% happen. We weren't twins, but we pretty much were.
We moved houses when I was maybe 6 and she was 4ish, and in that house, as a kid, I saw the Grim Reaper in front of her room, I think 3 different times. Once just standing there, once walking towards my moms room away from my sister, and the 3rd time in a dream and it turned into a big black snake in my room until I woke up.
Things kept happening as we grew up and I was always the more receptive one to everything, I think eventually she tried to cut everything off but later in life it came back to her, almost with a vengeance. Anyway, my great grandfather came to me in my dream the night he died and told me in Spanish but I'll put it in English here, "Son, it's okay, I just died and when you wake up you're grandma will ask you if you want to come to my funeral, I just wanted to say bye and that I love you." My eyes, immediately opened up, I walked into the kitchen where my grandmother just got off the phone and before she could speak I told her, "Yes, I want to go, I know Tito (my great grandfather) died, he just told me in my dream." She just looked at me like,... Wtf? (Looked at me the same way the other day when I told her what I dreamt, and it literally happened that day 10/26/2019).
Point of this post is... Since then maybe 2011, things just got weirder. I had a bizarre OBE, which was really an astral projection mistake that I had gotten to by sleep paralysis. I remember going to bed and the next thing I knew is that I couldn't move or breathe. Something, an ugly something and scary feeling was first on the edge off my bed, and then my chest. I eventually "got up" except, I didn't "get up", I turned around and my body was on the bed still sleeping... Being me, I was like, "Okay, so this is some Charmed shiat now, and I'm Prue Astral projecting... Okay..." So I walked around my room, saw my closet, everything was as it was. Then I decided to look outside (I don't know why but I did) and I felt the weirdest feelings EVER. I felt the loneliest of lonely, the darkest of dark, the worst of the worst, it was mortifying, I never ever wanted to feel that again. I don't know how I knew to but I just laid back down in my body. When I was BACK in my body, sleep paralysis took over again and I tried to yell for my sister (she was across my room) but I wasn't yelling ANYTHING, I eventually managed to get up from being paralyzed only to open my door and see a death figure dressed in white at my door/ in front of my sister's door. It didn't sit well with me at all, and surprisingly, I didn't tell anyone not even my sister (which I should've)... But I did tell her about the death figure.
The next thing that happened was I was with my boyfriend at the time and we were hanging out with this friends one night. Everything was fine, until it wasn't. I started getting angry out of no where, like mad. I started feeling uncomfortable and eventually I was so upset I started crying but I was mad and sad and just weird emotions that didn't feel like mine. I had my boyfriend drive me home and well I let my frustrations out lol. He said it was like I was someone else and just fell asleep. The next morning, I felt everything was weird, like I was living in another world. We were moving houses that day, so I thought it was that.
Later that day we started moving things in the house (the first time I saw it) and I asked my dad, "did someone die here?, because it feels like death." He just looked at me like freak like always. Anyway,, I put my phone down (something I never do) and just kept moving stuff. That's when my Dad and sister called me that my best friend had been trying to get ahold of me so she dialed them too because something was so important! She asked me if I was sitting down, I told her, "just tell me you're pregnant, Gooooood." But she didn't, instead it was, "Aaron died." Aaron as may best friend, my everything. Yeah, I had a boyfriend but Aaron was just Aaron and my boyfriend knew that too. I got in the car and my dad drove me to his funeral. My sister said that when she was alone that night in the house, every single cabinet and drawer opened up (I still don't know that that means to this day). Besides that, my eyes change color based on my mood and they were super yellow for a couple of days, like yellow - not the white part either, the colored part.
I know this is a lot of reading so for the next few weird things I'm just going to * them.
*Jan 2015, my sister's husband (her Aaron) hung himself in my dad's old house, (the house I asked if someone had died there, because it felt like death).
*2 weeks before my sister died (April 16, 2019), I had 3 dreams. 1) I dreamt of an apocalypse and I was with my grandma watching it happen, 2) I had the same dream but this time I was with my dad, 3) The same dream but this time I was trying to save my sister from the blast, even though I knew we'd both die, I wanted her to not feel as much pain so I covered her.
*1 week prior to my sister dying, only runs, I saw THE SAME grim reaper figure I had seen YEARS before, the one in front of my sister's room. Everyday I would see it in a different doorway and it was weird but I said "NO, GO AWAY." I didn't connect things like I usually do. But he kept appearing until he didn't.
April 16th, everything changed, my sister texted me in the morning and I thought everything was fine. I eventually went on a run that day and about 10 minutes into it, I just collapsed. I caught myself by one knee and elbow (something I learned in Karate) and thought to myself, "Did I go too hard? I don't think I've been pushing it... Well I didn't eat." But I couldn't continue running... I felt like some of my life force had been sucked out of me. Then cats started appearing EVERYWHERE (cats are my familiar, all of them) anyway, as I walked home, MORE CATS, I was like, "what now? What could happen to me now?"... As I walked in the door I heard my grandma HOWL, and I caught her before she hit the ground, eventually ending with me picking up the phone and my uncle telling me my sister had just killed herself.: (
After her death, I felt that life force leave, but she visited me while I was going to her "funeral" which wasn't a funeral, but anyway, she told me that she's basically giving me her "power" I don't know how to say it without sounding like a weirdo. That she never acknowledged it, but I did and I could fix myself with it, and to be great. (Sidenote: I've just been SUPER depressed and anxious and full of fear). But after that, she was gone, I have lucid dreams all the time and only recently have I been able to "see" her. Not even contact her:/
So back to the title, After that initially, I started drawing up storms and things started breaking when I'd get too upset, SO UPSET I started breaking glass again, but FROM MY ROOM. I feel like this newfound energy is not too much, but I'm not grounded enough and I don't know how to get there. (Another sidenote: someone once said they knew how to curse people with a black candle and I don't know how true this could be?)
Before my sister died, we were talking about my niece, and how we know she has gifts too and my sister wanted her to grow into them, but she's now with people that don't believe that, and I know when I got to a certain age, I started having those premonitions and feelings. But I know THAT SIDE of the family would just take her to the doctor and have her pilled up. So I asked my sister (in death), well more like said it would be best if we bound her "energy" I guess you could say, until she was old enough or until she asked about me or my mom.
Long story, a little longer... I literally feel like I'm floating always, now everything is foggy, my dreams are super lucid, I actually keep falling asleep in dreams and waking up twice, I'm irritable, my personality has definitely changed, and just by touching like a glass or anything really I just break, or if I feel an emotion really bad like glass falls. I just don't know at this point.
There's a lot of other things that have happened like, me accidently making someone seize, which wasn't my best moment or my intention, and I fixed it right away by taking their seizure but then I ended up in a corner not being able to talk for like 10 minutes while I "converted it?".
If any of this resonates with anyone please comment
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