Things That I Would Like To Know

I'm going to be telling you part of my story, and I will be reading

​ ​​each of ​your comments​.​ I have questions, and would like to meet and talk with people who can relate.

So, here it goes.

I have always known that I had stronger senses than my fellow class mates growing up. Better sight, smell, hearing, and touch. Now I'm glad ​that ​I have them​​ and have learned to deal with them, but growing up was hard. I experienced too much​,​ too often and didn't know how to deal with it, so it would overwhelm me. And it didn't get​ any​ better when I realized that I had senses that others didn't.

I could read feelings, could tell when something wasn't right or if people needed me to help them; even if I didn't at the time know what they needed me to help them with. While I can't read minds per say, I can if I know the person and get a feeling of what they are thinking about. Because I had no coping skills, I would lash out and have intense bouts of rage where my strength was increased way beyond what some one of my size and sta​ture should have had. I was tired of hurting my loved ones, so around my tenth birthday I believe, I unknowingly sealed/locked most of myself away.

Then everything was easier for a few years until I started (what I believe is spirit walking), and when that started​,​ things got bad for me. An evil entity found me, and I fought it for years; from the time I was 12 until I turned 21. It wasn't until I moved from Texas to Hawaii and it found me again, did I ever go try and get help from outside sources.

So, while growing up, I had cats and dogs and I just love all animals. My cats would always know when I was sick, even before I knew sometimes. They would be on my bed which they didn't like to do if I was sleeping, because I move around a lot. But, they would always be there for me. And they wouldn't leave my side until I was better.

Know the P-E part, so I did battle with the thing in my sleep (I would be 100% awake, but trapped in a world it controlled). After a while, I realized that there was a brief period of time that if I knew it was coming, I could wake myself up and if I just stayed up until morning I would be good. The clues I got were: at first I would feel a cat jump upon my bed, and if you ever had cats, they paw around until they find your body. They follow it up so that they don't step on you. That's what the evil entity would do, knowing I would just think it was one of my cats, because it was just like them. But, it started to walk up my leg and I wasn't in the mood, because I was tired and needed sleep. So, I kind of pushed it with the side of my body, hoping for it to go away.

It didn't and it continued to walk up the side of my leg. I got mad, grabbed one of my pillows and swung it over my back and hit where the cat should have been. But, it didn't feel it connect with anything, so I thought that I was just hallucinating from lack of sleep. As I was looking over my shoulder at my bed, I felt it walk up my leg some more. But, there was nothing there. Needless to say, I freaked and went down to my mom's room. I slept there for the first time in tenish years.

After that, I didn't really feel the cat anymore. However, I started feeling something sit next to me and it would lean on me. There would be a visible dip in the bed, and I could see it with my eyes closed (it's hard to describe, but if I try, I can look at events from almost a third person view). The best way to describe this, would be if you ever had anyone check on you when you were little. This was the clue of its presence for many years.

Know that I'm not scared as bad as I was when Ii was younger. I'm 22, turning 23 now. A cat entity has been visiting me nightly; when I'm sick or just anytime I can get away to think about what I feel. But when I was younger and didn't know what was going on, I was just terrified. I thought the cat worked for what was attacking me, and never could get past the fear. It has still taken me time to get over being scared; years of hurt can do that. It does make me feel good that if I have people over and were all on the cusp of sleep, that they will feel things check on them or touch them. They have mentioned that on their own accord.

I know that you might say that it's not a P-E, but it is because while I don't believe the cat is a part of me. I can clearly feel it move and affect things in my surroundings. I can now sleep without fear of being attacked. I'm trying to work on my skills. I still believe most of my gifts are locked, and that I need a true psychic to tell me the key to start opening those locks. But, I still get feelings when people I've met need me or are in danger. I've tried to ignore them, but I'll get physically ill. So, now I just call or check up on the people; either to give them a heads up that they would really think about what they're doing, or to just let them know that I'm here for them.

One time in particular, I was at a friend's house and we were playing cards. I got this overwhelming sense of dread wash over me, and it felt like I was punched in the gut. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew that I had to call my oldest friend Red. During high school, Red started smoking pot just to be cool and that made me upset. So, I didn't really hang out with him as much as we used to. But, he will always be my friend. I called him and told him, "look, I don't know what it is, but please don't go out tonight. I have one of my feelings, and just know something bad will happen to you if you go out tonight."

He told me ok, he would stay home. He knew that although my feelings weren't not always accurate, they can be and that he shouldn't mess with them, if he didn't need to. The next day, we found out that the party that he was going to was busted for drugs, and a lot of the teens there went to jail. Now that's not as bad as I thought was going to happen, but it could have messed up his life if he got caught. So, I was happy and knew even if what my feelings told me didn't turn out that bad, I still had to warn my friends and family just in case.

I also can pick out or know what something is before opening it. I used to use this gift to get rare cards for people, so that they would feel better if they were feeling sad. Now you might know of Magic, the gathering card game. There is a card category called mythic rare cards. These are hard to come by. But I can choose 3 packs of cards, and get 2 mythic rares and a rare. Those are pretty good odds. I can also know things that are going to happen anywhere from a few moments before they happen, to many hours beforehand.

I also get massive Deja Vu. Now everyone gets it from time to time, but not everyone gets it for hours upon hours in a row. For ​e​xample, when I was in basic training and we were putting our class blues together (those are the dress uniforms of the army), I lost my marksmanship badge. They would be inspecting in a few hours, and I didn't have the money or time to go buy another. I was sitting there freaking out and had been experiencing Deja Vu. But this time in particular, it was for hours long. I had the same premonition previously when I was little, so I knew who had my badge. I was able to get it a few minutes before we got inspected, since I already knew who had it. I was able to go up to them and ask them for it, which they did after I promised to go clean up their area.

Now none of this might sound interesting or cool to any of you. But, it's a part of me. I'm slowly starting to realize that if I can learn to use my gifts, I can probably help people. But, I'm so scared of losing myself or being overwhelmed by the power. I'm scared to try and use my gifts/train myself. I would love to find someone to help teach me, or just explain what it is that I can do with them.

I also have this feeling/knowledge, that if I really try, I can heal small pains and illnesses with just a touch. That if I open my third eye, I'll be able to see the truth. I believe truth is auras, since I can kind of feel them; especially when people are in pain. I can almost know when and what hurts, for how long, and other things like that without asking. This helps, because I'm a medic and my job really is to find out what is wrong and tell the doctor so he can fix it faster.

Anyway, if you read this and have any comments, advice or tips, I would love to hear them. I really just want to find other people who have gifts, so we can talk. I'm trying to find someone who is willing to try and see if they can help me find my first key to waking up my gifts. If you want to know anything that's not too much personal information, I can probably give it to you. I'm not going to assume that you know my stuff just because this is a psychic website. I just want to know if what I can do, or think I can do, is "normal" and that I'm not alone.

Thanks for reading,

Ben