Empath, Healer, Starseed.help?

You can call me Silver. I'm a girl, but that's where the personal information ends.

Ever since I was little I always felt different. Like I don't belong here. Every day I think "I want to go home". I've been reading different stories on here for almost a year now but I never had the courage to write until now. I feel like i'm not me. I am me but not who I imagine my face to be. Its a regular face but still.

I know I am an empath. I feel things other people feel at the same time, and on one occasion I had to adjust my hand and a few seconds later so did my teacher. I've never been to any doctor or psychiatrist since I am, in all senses, sane. Although I am "eccentric" by my friends terms.

I've been possessed before. I was bullied a lot in school, so it wasn't easy for me. I wanted revenge so, a "voice" (AKA spirit) helped me, but after it gained full control things turned. I started having gaps in my memories, stopped caring about my family (Only child, so that's huge), stopped eating. I felt hopeless. But then, I somehow had the strength to stop it. I heard voices but everything that happened I just assumed was normal until recently. I remember I got chased in the woods by the same spirit (I'd have nightmares about that spirit girl). Strange, though. In one of them she said "Silver and Shadow, Guardian and Phoenix." But her lips were moving as if she was saying a bunch of other stuff. I woke up in a cold sweat that night. (Oh, that was what 2.5 years ago now. And I still remember it in scary detail.)

My friend who is really fluent into the spirit world said that it was a wandering spirit (Then again, I didn't tell him about the possessed part) and that one that has been bugging me lately is a creeper who pinned onto me.

What happened, you may ask? Well, last year (After we moved to a new place) I kept having nightmares with the same energy that was with me when I was possessed. My right side started to shut down. For some reason I just kept it hidden for months until finally, one night.

I was going through the same routine: Feeling like nothing, my right side hurting, etc. Then, I couldn't move or speak. I felt something over me! I wanted to scream. I felt a knife or a sword go through me and I stopped. A coldness spread from that agonizingly slow, and when it got to my heart I just gave up. Then I stopped breathing and somehow I had a vision that I was just 100% blue and in a dark place... When SNAP! I started back up and was coughing like crazy. In my head, my friend was standing over me (She's psychic. We talked about things I never told anyone before.) and I was spazzing out and tried to comprehend what just happened. After studdering for a moment, she put her thumb on my forehead and I passed out. It was weird, like I was imbetween reality and my head. After that, she told me she was a psychic and she said that. That thing tried to kill me. I think it tried to kill her, too.

More on my abilities, I've attempted the telekinesis test a few times, and have gotten the red bar a little over halfway over. I try but the most I think I can do is make a hanging lamp sway slightly when my grandma was getting her nails done. (I don't like makeup, nails, etc. So I just sat in the waiting room)

I also have these random moments (around third period at school) Of me feeling extremely warm or really cold (I actually like the cold. I'm sitting outside while writing this.:3) and my side and back hurt.

My grandmother on my dads side, though. When me and my dad were saying goodbye after a visit she hugged me and almost...stuck? Her hand on my side. It hurt but ever since then its been dramatically better.

I don't feel the cold. I mean, I feel it and I can still shiver and everything but it just doesn't bug me unless its snowing or something.

I don't believe in any set religion, but I used to believe in multiple gods. Considering going back to that. No offense to any other religions, its just my belief. Please respect that.:)

And on to my love life. (You can skip if you want, I won't judge.)

Through all of my relationships, I've never fallen in love before I met (Changing the name for privacy) Bennis. He was the first guy who I liked, instead of the guy having a crush on me and me being an empath, well, you know how that goes. Bennis was different, though he's smart, funny, and overall caring. He's my first kiss, and i'm his. Even though he moved (I was crushed. Part of the reason for the delay.) away he still talks to me on nationstates. But it just isn't the same. He made a story for NS but he added our kiss in there. I've been decoding my dreams and even my friends' dreams. One of them dreamt that we all were butlers but Ben had a rose. A Damask rose. I made sure she was 100% sure. And then I had a dream last night that he had a tuxedo and a bouquet of them. What does this mean? It means (According to a symbol) that he could-COULD- be my true love *cue cheesy violin music*. I'm not sure though but that would be amazing.

I hope that I can learn how to heal and help other people. I remember reading a comment on something that said that a lot of people are being awakened for something that's going to happen next year. It lines up with how I've been feeling.

Now I should mention Oma. (I named her after Omashu, from the Avatar the last Airbender series. It sounded so nice!) She is a voice in my head, but not a bad one. She doesn't try to hurt me or ask me about anything, she just warns me if somethings nearby or let's me know if i'm too empathic. She helped me with the creeper of doom.

I miss ben but I hope he's faring well.

Anyway, i'm on my school computer so no Youtube or anything bad, but please if you have any advice i'd love to hear it. I'll comment on here, too so might as well get comfortable!

Peace and Hope,

-Silver