My whole life, I have been experiencing all kinds of things. These experiences have pushes me out of my comfort zone and forced me to look at life in a whole new way. Although I have had many good and exciting experiences, the few months have been a little overwhelming.
My life has changed drastically and I am starting to see the positive side of them. But, they have raised some questions about my abilities that bring me discomfort.
About three months ago, my husband and I, found out that we were expecting our third child. We were thrilled, especially me, being that I was previously wanting to get pregnant again, in hopes of bringing a little girl into our family. With all my pregnancies, I knew that I was before getting a positive result from a home test.
After finding out, I had this "feeling" that something was not right. I know that every pregnancy is different but my symptoms were far less than I ever experiences. I pushed the notion that something was off out of my mind, in hopes that it was one of those rare pregnancies that you just feel great the whole time. During the next week and a half, I would get feelings and thoughts that the baby was not really there or that I would miscarry. I even had this image of an ultrasound photo showing an empty uterus. I kept pushing it out of my mind because I didn't want to think negatively.
It was a Saturday in late March when the bleeding started and early Sunday when the pain came. It was very heavy and painful so we rushed to the hospital. I was 6 weeks pregnant when the doctor came up to us and say "Well, you have either lost it, or there is a high chance that you will." It was devastating to us. I ended up getting an ultrasound done, hoping that they wrong, but while getting dressed, I could hear the technician tell my husband that "there is no baby."
I have moved forward a lot quicker than I even thought I would and I know that it was for a reason.
What gets me the most is that, for years I have this "feeling" that something was going to happened to my dad. He has never really been a good health but have been progressively been changing his life style. About two weeks ago, I had this dream or thought, I can't remember how it came to me, but it did, that somehow he would get cancer. Last week, I got the phone call from him, telling me that he had throat cancer. This is where I started freaking out. Did I have two situations where I had possibly a glimpse of the future or because I had fear these things and found myself thinking about it, did I manifest them? If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions, please feel free to let me know.
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