I am 43 years old and every since I was a little girl I have had this experience. It happened when I would be in bed with my eyes closed to fall asleep. But I would see an eye that would continuously change until I opened my eyes. Sometimes it would happen even with my eyes open when the room was dark. It didn't bother me too much unless mean eyes showed up then I would have to sit up in bed and just try try to listen to music to fall asleep (During this time I would always catch myself doodling an eye on my book covers at school.) As I got older I saw faces instead of just an eye. Sometimes I recognized them but usually I didn't. Then I began to see what was like watching a video of people walking down the streets going about their day. Or it was like looking out of the window of a moving vehicle at the trees and scenery zooming by.
Eventually I started to get glimpses of these types of things when I was awake with my eyes open. But when I would focus harder to see it clearer it would go away. That happens now also with eyes closed. I try to focus on on what I am seeing but it shortly becomes a blur. I often wonder if I am making this all up in my head and causing myself to see these things but my gut isn't convinced of that.
After high school I went with some friends to go club hopping downtown. We parked and put our purses in the trunk. For some reason I just couldn't get in the fun time mood and found myself sitting at a table feeling troubled. Then it was the weirdest thing. Like one of those cartoon clouds came above my head and a visual of our purses wouldn't leave my mind. I told my friend I just can't get our purses out of my mind. We left the bar and walked to the car to find the window shattered and our purses stolen. Nothing that vivid has happened to me since. Not like that but it has stuck with me ever since. Probably was just a fluke but I can't help but wonder. I have had trouble sleeping my whole adult life and it gets worse and worse. I often dream I am someone else but myself is observing from above. But I feel completely the person in my dream also. Can't help but be curious especially when I look back on when I was little and the eyes I would see made me dread nighttime And how I dread it even more now and never sleep. Just don't know what to make of it all. Other things happen to me but how do I know it's just not all in my head. My gut wants me to trust that I am sensitive or whatever, yet another part of me accepts it as just stress or coincidences.
Why do these visions go away when I try to focus my eyes on them to see them better. Is it just my imagination. I feel so stupid for posting this but have held it in long enough. Is what it is.
Another thing. I have been burning out lightbulbs my whole life when I flip them on. Prob just coincidence. All I know is that I am way too affected by the energy of people around me. Maybe I need to start meditating or something to relieve this stress from everyone etc. Idk. Surely someone understands and has some positive insight.
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