I don't know if this a good place for what I want to say and ask. I'm sorry if it isn't. I must try because it's too important for me.
I was never into this stuff before. Never believed in such things. But life surprised me unpleasantly and now I must seek for help. It started happening few years ago and grew into something I can't handle anymore.
I've heard something about body energy, auras etc. I've heard all people have it. I guess it's alright for them because nobody is complaining.
My energy, aura (or whatever should I call it) is different. It's affecting people (little kids and animals also) in a not very pleasant way and it's completely out of my control.
I can sense presence of people without seeing them or hearing. And they somehow know about it. There is this invisible energy field around me. It will make people cough, choke, sniff, scratch their heads, whistle, make some obnoxious sounds or react in other weird, inappropriate way (when I'm out of their sight, silent). I saw them freezing, dropping things on the floor or looking at me with hostility, suspicion, fear. People would follow me when I'm walking in the supermarket until they realize it's not something they really wanted to do (like they would wake up from a hypnosis). When I'm passing by they will stop moving and just stand still with this blank stare. Some will simply run away or whisper something too me (rude things occasionally). When I speak to a single person it feels like my voice is directed to every person around. And they behave like it is. Everybody stops doing their thing and focus on what I'm saying. Not because I have a special or loud voice.
It's difficult for people to have a conversation which is audible for me. My brain will focus on what they are saying and will interfere somehow. They start feeling uncomfortable. Conversation ends awkwardly. If I hear somebody laughing out loud in far distance it will end up instantly making this person cough. I'm entering room full of people (I work in a restaurant) conversations stop, eating stops. Complete silence. I'm in the spotlight now. Some of them watch what am I doing with the biggest concern. Like everybody is waiting for me to do something unexpected. This will not happen because I don't want any attention, I just want to do my thing. I look normal and behave the same. As soon as I leave everything is back to normal, everybody is enjoying with a relief.
Animals are very sensitive to me. This dog ran like crazy when my finger moved. Not to mention other one that bit me.
It's unbelievable how fast people react when I would just look in their direction. For example: I'm riding on a train, some person outside is standing far away in the distance, turned back to me. I look (just a glance), this person feels something and reacts to this immediately. It happens also when I see somebody's reflection in window or when I observe through surveillance cameras. Person will start looking around, searching for something. But nothing is there except me, but I'm too far away to be noticed. Some people can't walk straight when I come close (they tend to go towards me). I'm just moving forward, looking somewhere else, minding my own business. Some have trouble with standing up from a table when sitting next to me. Like they were struggling with some kind of a force. Friend once told me this: "Something is pulling me in your direction. And it's something evil". He was drunk and didn't remember anything the next day. But it only confirmed my theory that I affect people under the influence even more.
Some can't stand my presence. Few flat mates moved out from the same apartment. Many of them complained about feeling weird or having strange dreams. So I avoid people as much as possible. I always try to stay away and be silent at all times, to not to draw any attention. But something inside me wants all of it and I can't help it. It wants everybody to just shut up and focus on me (in short).
I feel this energy mostly in my legs (feet precisely) and also hands (people often look at my hands with unusual attention). It's very uncomfortable and hard to describe feeling. Sometimes shivering occurs. Also I'm feeling some kind of a short circuit in my head when somebody is near and is doing something (making noise, talking, moving). Then this impulse I create will make this person react. These sensations will stop as soon as this person will fall asleep. It also calms down when I listen to my mp3 player, but strikes immediately after song ends. Silence makes energy more effective. Worst is when people cough. They do this a lot. Why? Does it make them feel better? Coughing occurs often when I'm feeling emotions (like fear, sadness, happiness, anger etc). When I would think about saying something to somebody I'm having conversation with, but not actually saying it. When I'm creating a conversation in my mind. When I think about a person near me and in many other various situations. Energy is strongest in the morning right after I wake up and in the evening when I'm tired. There are days when it's weak, but then the next day it will come back stronger. I wish I could explain all this better, but circumstances are against it. I hope you get the idea.
How do you think does it feel for a person when I'm near? What kind of feeling makes them do all these unexplainable things?
Maybe it would be fun to have such ability but only if it was under control. Mine is out of control and is with me all the time. It makes my life really miserable and exhausting. That's why I'm looking for any help.
What is happening to me exactly?
Can anybody help me? Perhaps tell me how to control it or just help me to understand it better? Now it's beyond my comprehension and it scares me. I would be thankful for any advice.
Sorry for my english and thank you for your attention:O
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