You know how people notice things you do to yourself... Like if you have gotten a new haircut or such, I notice the things that get taken away from yourself or destructive so to speak. I can feel things sometimes on the inside of people if that makes sense. An example that I had in November-December was of a classmate of mine, in drama. I had gotten to know her over the couple of months during the period of school, and I gained this connection so to speak. Something felt wrong about her, not her personality or satirical cynicism, which made us all laugh. I was sitting one day in class behind her and I pictured in my head all the major organs and such and I could see them pumping like through a pounding energy. Though, when I reached towards her head I felt a block, like the energy was messed up, a big block. Then I saw a big white lump blob in my head looking through her head with my mind. Everything else looked faded back except for that big white lump. Of course she looked fine on the outside, for about two weeks I said nothing, then finally I went up to her after her performance and whispered the word tumor in her ear. I don't know why I only said one word, but it was what I choose.
Then the next day I said get that checked, she told me doctors had tried to find out what was wrong with her, I told her to tell the doctors to do a MRI. I said just get it done, and tell me. A week later, she comes in and does a performance up on stage and through a very creative way, tells me that indeed I was correct using symbolism to represent her tumor. I am glad that I told her and I don't regret it. Some days are hard for her, because she has headaches almost everyday, like me... Except I don't have a tumor, but they are still working on me :) lol.
She is still alive, the tumor is still there, but I don't feel as if anything is hidden now, and we can be open about it. She talks to me about what she feels, because in reality I can relate to the same pain even though we have two totally different things. I can't say how happy I was to just come out with it, some cases I am not happy about and wish I kept it a secret. But it's just like good and bad days, you have to have both or else it wouldn't be called life. :)
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