So to understand this story I need to tell you a little about me. I have always been an animal psychic and an empath but for the longest time I didn't realize that not everyone had these powers. Also within the past year I have figured out that I am a medium. Now part of this won't seem relevant but if you keep reading it is. Almost 10 months ago I was diagnosed with chronic nerve pain in my foot and haven't been able to walk. Basically I'm in pain all the time and because of that have developed depression. I think another major thing that has factored in my depression is that I have been in the hospital a lot and my empathy makes that very hard. Now that you have the background here are my two stories that I think may tie together.
The first thing is my empathy. It has been out of control lately! I am picking up and feeling emotions a lot more than normal. Also because I have been in the hospital so much for doctors appointments I have been picking up so many feelings of nervousness and sadness. It has been so bad that I can't even watch the news at all because of all the awful stories on it. A lot of animals and trees have even had a sad tinge to them. Mankind keeps doing so many awful things it has been having so much of an effect on my empathy. People have so much hate for one another and I wonder if I'm the only empath who feels so much judgment and hostility. Has anyone else felt like this lately as well? I was wondering if it could be because something major is supposed to happen this year because it's 2012.
My second story is more about being a medium but I wonder if my emotions were all my own or if others played a role because of my empathy. After a really bad day at the hospital my foot was in a lot of pain. I was strongly considering suicide as an option. I was laying in my bedroom crying when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I thought it was just my mom so I said go away because I wasn't in the mood to talk. I was shocked to hear my deceased grandma talk because I always know when she enters the room. She told me it wasn't the answer, how much she loves me, and that it wasn't my time yet. I still wasn't totally convinced so I didn't respond to her. I feel really odd about saying what happens next because it sounds so cliché. But she hugged me and suddenly I saw my mom and what would happen to her and the rest of my family if I did it. This was my first vision of any kind. I'm not sure if spirits can cry but it looked like she was. Before she left she told me again how it wasn't my time, but in the end it was my decision. She looked at me one last time before she disappeared and said as much as she missed me I couldn't be with her yet because someone has to watch over grandpa. After she left I felt very peaceful, and I knew she was right. The reason I'm sharing this is because I was wondering if it was possible for my empathy powers to drive me to that point. So if you could answer any of my questions that would be very helpful.
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