First of all, I should start by saying that my life has always felt weird. Most of the time, I don't feel like myself. I have very strange thoughts and always feel like I am not human. I am going through this life with no goal, just surviving.
Now, I went to visit a friend of mine in another city some time ago. One night, we were supposed to head to a rave party. We met with a friend of hers prior to that. We went to his friend's house before the party. There were about 6 people in the apartment. But one guy in particular just seemed so familiar. He was sitting in the corner, rolling a joint, and I just couldn't stop staring at him. I didn't pay too much attention to that but once we got to the party, it became very real. It was like some force pushing me towards him. I had never felt something like that before. When he looked at me, an electric shock seemed to pass through my body. It was not sexual, not a bit. It felt like he saw right through me, to my soul. I didn't completely grasp the importance of what was happening until after we separated. We had talked at the party but not enough to know anything about each other. I am by nature a very reserved person and only talk when I need to and he seemed even more reserved than I am.
Now I am back in town, and all I know is his first name. I haven't stopped thinking about him, not a second. It feels like our souls were connected somewhere beyond all of this. I wish I had done something, anything. But now it's too late and it's killing me. I can't think about anything else. I have been trying to reach him telepathically but I am not sure I will be able to achieve that. This was the first time I have felt truly sure about something, it's like only he matters even if he is only a stranger after all. Just by standing next to him and smoking with him, I have felt more at home than never before. I don't know what to do.
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