Curious

First off let's start by letting everyone know that I have a hard time believing in this stuff. I don't know why but it's just one of those things that my mind can't fully grasp I guess.

Anywho, so I have seen things since I can remember. People, animals, heard things, felt things and have night terrors quite often. I have a little girl who stands next to my bed for years now, I don't see her always but more then I like. I have tried to interact but I'm so stricken with fear I can never move. I never really get good feelings when stuff happens. People always talk about the warm feeling or things like that but mines always fear.

Recently my friend and I tried to embrace it by going to a place that was supposed to be haunted and some creepy stuff happened but not a lot. It's more of when my mind is finally calm and then I see people usually.

That's another thing, my mind runs nonstop about everything. I love the human mind and believe we have not tapped into our potential and in trying to do so I have ruined many nights of sleep because I do not know how to turn my mind off now. I think think think. Math, science, space, work it doesn't matter what it's about but it's always going.

I also have many dreams of death. Never my own. I'm always someone else, whether it be a man women or child.

If this is real I would like to embrace it instead of living in fear when it happens but I guess my biggest fear is that if it is real and I'm visited by demons or something I don't want to go down that rabbit hole.

Does anyone have any advice? I know like I'm full of it but I'm probably a bigger skeptic than anyone on here. It's just I have gotten old enough now that I want answers.

Thank you for your time.