My dreams over the years have been getting more and more intense. It comes randomly and now it feels it's gone to another level than just ordinary dreams that I can keep brushing off. I need to see if this is usual. I need to see if there is a way that I can make sense of it all to be able to do what I'm suppose to with the dreams. There are different types of dreams one is that I've been having dreams of missing and killed girls reaching out to me. Other is spirits coming into my dreams for messages or sometimes I don't even know how to make it of it.
My first dream I had been of a killed girl. Started as if I'm invisible watching everything play out in slow motion. I'm at a park walking by I see a baseball coach walking away from a game with a knife in his hands putting it into his pocket rushing to be somewhere. Then suddenly I hear a women calling out a name (I wrote the name down when I woke up and google it and nothing came up). Calling out her name, suddenly I'm the killed girl in the form of a spirit. I knew it was my mother calling out for me. I can hear and see her but she can't see me or hear me, I'm yelling out its me I'm here...that's when I knew I was killed then I'm running and running in slow motion like something's holding me back... Then I wake up...
Next dream, I'm in the country, there's a trailer house near woods. (This dream is playing out like I'm watching TV) I see on TV a woman talking to the media saying this" whoever has her please return her we miss her and want her back" then the little girls voice told me as I'm watching this lady being interview, "ask her, ask her where I'm at" for some reason I knew the lady was her aunt. Then I woke up.
Next dream...I'm going to the store. I went in the store. Scene turned into a medic room. I'm circling an autopsy table with a young girl dead. A sheet over her and the doc is looking at her. Then the scene switched... For just a quick moment I'm looking through the eyes of a killer. I'm looking out the window blinds trying to get the feel of who's out there and turn around. By the bed I have a young girl cuffed to the edge of the bed. She starts laughing at me hysterically, she's abuse and been raped. How I know. I don't know. I felt it. Then I drift out of his body... And she let's me see that she was laughing at him because she knew she was going to die. She knew that was the only thing that made him mad that hurt him. We are speaking through images and mind. No words are exchanged at all. I'm looking at her. She shows me no face at all, just her hair sloped over her face as she is sloped down on the edge of the bed where her life ended. As if she was stuck there. I felt so sad for her and I felt a sense of anger from her of how she suffered then I hugged her. I felt her anger subside. I hugged her so tight for her sadness, her anger, the life that was taken away and what she went through. I can feel this deep hug that you can feel in your heart that this is real, I might be dreaming but she is real. Someone gave me a letter with 2 names on it. I looked at it in my dream but coming out of the dream, I can remember only 1 name, Whitney. Either it's the last name or the first name. I can't remember the second girl. I'm mad at myself for not remembering. I wonder sometimes things like these that are so important I can't remember when I come out of it even if I read it. The dreams are getting more intense, I thought about if I had a friend that knew how to hypnotize and take me back to the dream of the names that I saw... I wonder what the point of that dream is. To tell me. To let me feel her torment? I asked god why? Is this really what it seems?
Next dream I wake up next to a man I never seen b4. For some reason I knew he was my dad. I can see myself in the form of a diff person as I look at the time. Its 10:30 am. I was like OMG DAD! He said to me shh it's ok. I was like no we have to go. He said no is ok. Just call in. Then he looked at me lovingly. I looked at him puzzled. Then I realized I was dreaming. I asked him. Who are you? He said I'm your dad. I was like dad? He said yes. Brushing my hair slowly in a loving way. I told myself, wait a minute. The only person that shows me that kind of compassion is when I dream of the man that I been dreaming of my whole life. I start to get the fee of the dream to see if it's him trying to trick me. But I get no feel back that it's him. For a minute there, though I knew was dreaming so I let myself go to feel this mans love for his daughter. I let myself be her. To feel the love that I had for this man as my father and to feel his love as I'm his daughter. To feel the real love of a father that I never had even with 2 fathers that I had in real life. I said to him dad. He said I love you and I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry I was upset when you moved out. It was more room for parties and you know how it is? I told him dad. If its you. Can I hug u. He chuckled and said of course, I hugged him so tight and so close to me feeding off his love for me that I can smell him. The scent of how my father smell just to get the realization that this is how it feels to be so loved by my father. I still remember the scent when I woke up. As I hugged him I started to cry. I told him that I never had a fathers love like this b4 and literally teared up in my dream that I can hear myself in real life crying, that's when I woke up. I was crying in my dreams. I can still remember his embrace and his scent. With this dream it leads me to wonder if the man was using my soul to communicate with his daughter or reach out to her. Or to just see her one last time, or for that moment. Or is it that god has given me this gift to feel and see how life can be if life were to be diff and I had a fathers love like that.