I have had a failed romantic relationship with someone in my past. While in it I felt the spirit of someone in my dreams. Over time I connected it with a spirit who was planning to be born and then choosing me and my ex as the parents. I would before that have sudden images that I tried to think was down to stress or lack of sleep where as I could see my ex and a baby. I did not mention that to him as I thought it would only sound nuts. I did not know myself what it would be. He was the one talking to me about us having a baby and if I got pregnant by mistake that he of course would want us to keep it and he would be there for us and care for things financially as well (My finances were not too good at the time). I was the one who did not think it was fit to be pregnant then. Few years after we had parted I came to meet who I think was the very spirit of the visiting me before in my dream, only now a different father. I never told them this as I am still trying to think if this could be something mental or imaginary even if I have been cleared, have no mental illness to create hallucinations.
The relationship with my ex would before deteriorate and I had been in secret unhappy with him without being able to do something about it. I think I was closing in or was going to become depressed, but at the time I was reclusive and tried to act as if everything was as it should be. He complained about me and said it did not feel right between us and it didn't and so I excused myself and walked out of his life. I was to find out he or us were the main reason, source, to my unhappiness so it was this great burden of relief once it was over and I found back to myself and was happy again. He would later try to get me back and it seems he went through all the emotions given on how and what was in his communication, but I was 100% certain I was not the right woman for him and he was not the right man for me. There was this part of me that was to become afraid of him, both during the relationship, even if I did not want to admit to it at the time and never told him I was, but also most assuredly afterwards. He had a terrible attitude during and after the break up where he was cruel to me even if I was being polite to him and did not do anything to him. I understand if and when he had all the feelings of being let down and angry with me but he still did not need to be so cruel to me, especially when it had been him who had initiated it, not I, but then it was as if he did not want to follow through and I had to then do it. I knew I did not want to be with someone who would act this way towards me and even if I would forgive that, it was over for me. I did not want him back.
What I have found to be a strange coincidence (?) is that the child itself has the same physical issue that I remember my ex having. There are other things as well I can't mention.
I have had some strange dreams too of the ex and turns out I have also had what I think was me doing a remote view, or else I can not explain it, where he, I was to later find out, had no clue of it before, was to these events, and happenings in his life. When that happened I did not feel love or hate or anything really. I was observing. It sort of felt as if I was there in the physical, that I had a body but I could not have. I can't remember anyone talking to me or paying notice to me.
While he and I were a couple I took medication without knowing the true result this medication could do in case of a pregnancy. This only came on the news a couple of years after. Had I know that I could never have taken them.
There has been poltergeist activity around me especially so it began when I got to be involved with another man (the true father).
While we were involved he tried to get me involved with spiritualism as he thought I was gifted in some ways, but somehow I had a bad feeling about what he was doing and so I was reclusive about that too, thinking if I was pregnant by him, that he would one day try to use it against me as a proof that I would imagine things or were unstable in some way. I have family members, relativs from way back that were gifted. I did not share that with him. He would talk about me, what he thought was my gift and I think he may have gotten himself involved with something not necessary good as I have been warned by more than one that what he was into was dark. I have thought if the spirit I felt was originally meant to have him as the dad, but even after we departed chose to not give up on me?
I am sure was he to know back then what the medication I took really did, if pregnancy had been involved (people did not know the danger at the time, no one did) he would have become very angry with me. I think I feel shame and fear when I think of this.
From my understanding he never got to be a dad himself, which could even more, I'm thinking, whip up these feelings I have. He would after the break up try to come in contact with me and did not respect I did not want to. I feel as if I have walked out as a winner in this, I got the spirit baby, it chose me.
Could there be a way that he would feel or know about all of this? I had this one dream where he forced rings on my finger as we were to be married and in the dream I could not move or speak, I just stood there. There has been other dreams as well. They are always giving me the feeling of a nightmare, except for the one where I think I did a remote view on what turned out to be currently going on in his real life. I later checked that. Waited for a long time before as I did not want to.
When my fear was at it's greatest in my nightmares it was that he was to through the dark magic and how he was, to find and punish me, or that those that were like him, did not like that I had taken the medication and there for without even knowing it myself having had the abortion. At some stage in the relationship I had symptoms one can have if pregnant but I thought it was down to stress and I took the medication (not for anything mentally). I know I was late and thought if it does not come on that date that I was to buy a pregnancy test, but then even if late, it finally came. That was a relief to me then as we were splitting up and I think it was what was best.
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