One Of My Tragedies

I can't get to close to people or they end up hurt. This is my curse!

It all started when I decided to join this war between worlds. I did this for two reasons. One, I always wanted to be a warrior like in the novels and battle the forces of darkness. Second, my bff was in danger and was constantly harassed by demons. So it seemed like a good option at the time.

Some good spirits which I guess we can call angels, though to me they seemed far too human offered me their help. They told me that it was my decision whether or not to accept this responsibility after al it would affect me in the future. I was to have few friends for I would have to protect them. They told me as I got stronger demons would come to destroy me because they don't want any threats. They told me of trainings I would have to forgo. I agreed, and like this I began expanding my abilities.

Tough now I am not so sure I could go through with it. It has been ten years time since this almost eleven. And well two years ago I fell for a really nice guy. I tried pushing him away but one way or another our paths would cross again. I decided to be his friend and called him a brother to keep him close yet distant. I was warned many times "you know you are lying and you don't see him as a brother. You also know that if things continue this way he too will become involved in this war and get hurt. There are many evil spirits who wish to hurt you and if they can't attack you directly they will go to the next best thing." I told my best friend she said "just continue to talk to him bad things happen to people regardless of whether you are with them or not."

This did not convince me so I let him decide. I told him about my past and how if he was near me he would be in danger. He too said something similar to what my best friend said. I knew he did not believe me. Shortly after I had repeated dream of him getting ran over then him walking half of him covered in blood. Soon they became close and occurred both when I was awake or asleep. I decided to tell him, he was insulted and told me "do you think I am that retarded that I would get ran over." I replied that it was not about being smart. He told me not to worry and that he would be fine.

About a week later he got run over I did not know until my best friend told me. She did not know about the dream, and I did not believe her. I thought I was a bad joke; he was just trying to scare me but no. Yet I was glad to know he was alive. After that I could not face him. When I saw him again he tried to make a joke out of it to let me know it was okay but I walked away once more.

It has been a little over a year and I really wish to be with him even if it's just as acquaintances but I am scared of something bad happening again. What should I do? I can't leave my responsibilities, yet I'm only human!