Dissapearing Loved One

I haven't posted here in quite sometime, I guess since my last story things have been better. I don't get sleep paralysis as much anymore I'd say maybe once a month or every two months even. It has been 4 years since my best friend passed and in the beginning things were a little rocky, it felt like my spirit meter was going through the roof and everyday there was something strange or weird happening to me. Things have been fairly normal I don't really get visited often at least I don't think that I do, I will still hear things occasionally but I'm not scared anymore.

I'm not sure if I have abilities anymore sometimes it feels like I don't which is fine after the year I had. I would obviously like to have some sort of ability so I can communicate with the people I have lost but that's the only reason.

The reason I'm writing this story is to get a little insight on why this happenes to me, since my friend passed away I dreamt of her every night until one night it seemed like she was mad at me but that's in my other stories. I didn't dream of her again for a while after that and then one night she was there. Her and another friend of ours (she's still alive) we were walking down the street like nothing happened it felt real. Then at one point all 3 of us were in a hotel room my one friend was sitting on the bed and my deceased friend was crouched beside the bed I was standing up looking at both of them, and then it clicked I knew I was dreaming I knew this wasn't real, so I went to my friend and I said "I know I'm dreaming, are you okay?" I guess I excpeted to finally have a somewhat real conversation with her, but instead she just looked at me and smiled and she disseapeard.

Now I obviously woke up confused and sad and angry, why did she leave like that? I went back to sleep that night and every night after expecting to dream of her and I didn't.That was the last dream I had of her... Until today, I'm still laying in bed having only dreamt of this an hour ago.

I was at my boyfriend's house and I seen her, and she walked away from me like she didn't notice me and so I got up and followed her, I ended up in a bar and she was sitting on a bar stool with someone, but I'm not sure who it was. I walked up to her and said her name and she turned around and it was her, I started crying and hugging her and it's crazy because I could actually touch her and feel her psychially. I'm still bawling my eyes out and she asks me "hey are you okay your starting to freak me out" and I looked at her and told her that she died 4 years ago and she looked at me and said "no I didnt" I started crying even harder and I again told her that she did and that I knew I was dreaming, she looked at me and she smiled and she said something but I can't remember exactly what she said and that bothers me but then she grabbed me and held me and I remember crying as I was holding her and slowly I could feel her dissapear like she was fading away or something. When she was gone I was in my boyfriend's bed holding my self still crying I got up and tried to find her again but she wasn't there anymore.

I woke up and actually started crying this is the first dream I've had of her that I remember anyway in about 2 years I guess my question is, why does she dissapear when I realize I'm dreaming? And why now, why after 2 years am I dreaming of her? Any comments are appreciated thank you for reading.