This is my first post.:)
I figure it would be easier to tell you a bit about myself first, I'm not going to go like full out in detail- just some things that might be helpful for you to help me out.:)
As a kid I grew up as a Lutheran Christian, and I stuck with that for nearly all of my life until about two years ago when I started questioning things about the religion and receiving answers I didn't particularly resonate with. I've since adopted a more agnostic view on life, and it's very difficult for me to believe in things that are I'm not able to reason with or feel.
Even as a Christian child I never really FELT anything, and that's what I want the most. Something whole and fulfilling.
I started to look into pantheism, universalism, paganism, various monotheistic religions, and polytheistic religions. And none of them particularly resonate with me. I can't get on board with them. However I do like different aspects of them and respect them all. I respect them all very much.
I am more drawn to the idea of psychics, though and I'm wondering about looking more into it as I recently experienced the death of my grandmother, and felt her spirit leave her body. For the first time that I've ever felt with human. It's happened before with my pets I've had to euthanize as well though.
I do also have a particular fondness for things such as lucid dreaming/astral projection, crystals, herbs and spirits. Animals as well mean a great deal to me, but I will continue that more in a second.
As a child my parents (who are Christian) told me I used to play with ghosts and talk to them and they were friendly. Now as a near adult, I can no longer see spirits but I can feel SOMETHING, even if my mind says it's my head. It's like a battle between my rational and dreaming side, and neither fully win.
To continue with that, I do dream often and every night I can remember what I dream. Dreams particularly mean very much to me and I've lucid dreamt on accident 3 times, but can never hold it for long. Dreaming helps me cope through real life situations I've found and I often found myself going through things like grief stages in them, but never awake. I have had a few prophetic dreams as well, as had my father.
Animals I also hold in very high reference- even as a child. I think about them more and more as equals now than I did before, and they mean very much to me. I always used to pretend to shapeshift (but not anymore obviously) and the animals definitely resonate with me more than anything else I've come across. This makes me think I'm looking for some sort of spirit animal? I don't know, but I want to go into veterinary sciences once I graduate. I wish to delve more into the spiritual side of animals and work with their spirits.
This is going to sound very strange but when I picture MYSELF, not physically, but like metaphysically? Like if my body was gone and I was only in "spirit". There's always something else THERE, something that's not part of me. It's not bad or anything, it just reminds me of something secure, like my protector. But it's not human. It's feels like a part of me but something else. Any idea what this is or how I discover what it is?
I also see times that are distinct for me very often- like 11:11 or 9:11 or 12:34 or even 9:06- which was part of my old address prior to moving. I don't know if this is helpful or if I'm just spouting useless info. But I want to like FEEL whole- which is something I currently do not, as I feel as if I'm not living up to my potential- so I can put more out in the world, ya know?
It's strange because I feel different, but not whole- I ask questions where other do not and I want answers I don't have. It's frustrating for me because I feel like it need to figure this out before I can move on and help others.
I'm brand new to this idea of being possibly psychic, if at all. If anyone can explain what I'm feeling better it would greatly ease my feelings on this. Any advice at all is appreciated.
To further ease the possibility of answering questions, I've decided to consolidate some I would like answered if possible:
1. Did I awaken something within me after watching my grandmother die? I used to see spirits as a child and now I can only feel them.
2. Can I strengthen this at all?
3. Can somebody give me more information on that non human presence I feel constantly? Could it be a spirit animal?
4. How can I protect myself from negative energies? I wear a hematite ring always. Is this enough? I still feel some things with it on.
5. Are their any other psychic abilities I could develop that involved working with animals and other spirits?
Warm wishes. ❤