After finding out that I'm a medium, I was really frightened and tried to hide my mediumship. I was also scared of dark because when it is dark, I feel like I could sense spirits.Sometimes,I wished my abilities would be taken away from me as I was tired of lying myself. But when I tried to lie myself, I was even more tired.It's like a nightmare sometimes. It made me tired, scared and sometimes even pains.
I suffered those pains for six months (as I discovered my mediumship lately) and I was lost and alone. There was no one to tell how I was experiencing because even if I tell someone, he or she would simply think I'm crazy.
Fortunately,I found a friend who had this ability and we became too close. We talked about our experiences and discussed. She was amazing! She had stronger signs of being a medium. For she doesn't scare spirits and her mediumship, she doesn't get tired with her ability.
I wanted to be like her and I started to realise that running away is not the way. We should learn how to control them. As soon as I realised that, I tried that way. I tried to overcome my fears as I need to develop my mediumship.
The next way us to keep faith in ourselves. As my main ability is Clairsentience, (I'm the best at sensing or knowing things rather than other) I try not to filter anything I gather but go with my sense. I try keeping faith in my ability and I also found it helped me to expand my mediumship.
I'm new here and I don't even know when I became a medium. The first time hearing ringings was seven years ago and the first time sensing a spirit was about two years ago.I'm not sure but sometimes I see a spirit in my house. I think it is four or five times. First time was a woman wearing a white dress (not sure). And another was a baby in my little brother's bed. (I was completely shocked that time). I have a feeling that my Clairvoyance may be just starting or it's just weak.
I've been experiencing those for half of my lifetime but I'm still stuck at some point. I hope someone can advice me what I should do to understand more about my mediumship.
CMTP
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I know it's been over a week since you posted but I just stumbled upon your post tonight. I think the main blockage for you to progress with your medium ability is your inner fear that you mentioned about. I am just not completely sure what kind of fear you are referring to. Do you fear the dark side of the spirit world and all the unseen spirits? Or do you fear that you have a medium ability that you cannot control? If it's the former, then you need to trust me when I say that you never have to fear the unknown in the spiritual realm. Some spirits may have certain powers and some spirits may not be particularly "nice". Yet, in all the universe and across all dimensions there is a force that is above and beyond all others - the Divine Power. It has many names and many identities but it's the same source. This is the source of power that you can tap into for protection and it will give you a shield that cannot be broken by any spirit. It's not hard to learn how to create this protection either. So please trust me when I say there is no reason to fear spirits because you are in control with this Divine power at your finger tips. You are still very young and you have many years ahead of you to learn and master your abilities. So no need to rush - take your time to explore and properly learn in small steps.
Just let me know if you have questions.
Boson