I Became A Medium At 19

A year after my boyfriend killed himself I had what I would consider to be a spiritual awakening. I asked for much needed help. Help I had needed long before he had died. Minded, he killed himself 3 days after I ended our 5 year relationship.

I was 19 at the time, when I woke up in the hotel room with my mom, preparing to return home from my dream college. I heard a voice talking to me. It was undeniable. I was laughing and the voice was trying to convince me that I knew exactly who I was talking to.

I, being a psychology student immediately assumed I had had a psychological break and was now dealing with a form of schizophrenia.

Since that day, I have been talking to him everyday and other spirits, as well.

While they have helped me in many ways and I love this new ability I seem to have (I'm still not completely convinced I'm not crazy...) I feel as though he is consuming too much of my space. And sometimes he tricks me by telling me things that aren't true...

The only thing that's reassuring me about this is when a spirit came to me at the treatment center and begged me to relay a message. Minded, I had no idea the person I relayed a message to had lost this loved one.

Though, when I was younger I do recall seeing my grandfather who had passed on the side of my bed. And since I began hearing them, I have seen figures that they wanted me to see. They also are capable of speaking through me. They supposedly are here to help me and I do believe that. But I would like to be able to have control over myself again. I'm unable to meditate without being talked to, even though I do my best not to acknowledge them.

I'm in desperate need of some guidance for this is my second time reaching out. I have told only my family for fear of being judged. How am I able to tell when a spirit is being truthful and even if that spirit is who they are really are?