The Gift

My name is Kenya and I'm 19 years old. My experiences started when I was a little girl about 8 or 9. My parents were separating and I would stay at my father's apartment. Before I continue, i'll let you in a little bit on my childhood. My parents had me in their twenties and my mother was very protective of me. She always did her best to shield me from dangers, or situations she knew I could not handle. She is a very proper woman, and with that I know I could not go to her for advice about this. She's a closed minded person, even at 8 years old I know she would not believe my experiences. Anyhow, my first experience was when I was visiting my grandparents for the summer, They had a pool and me and my cousins would go swimming and have barbecues together. I started to stop joining the fun and isolating myself more and more from them due to extreme episodes of anxiety, anxiety that would make me shake and want to cover myself up under the blankets and sleep it off. As I mentioned above, when my parents got divorced I would spend a lot of time at my fathers place. He had a room just for me when I stayed there. Me and my father would rent comedies and watch them together with junk food, and again I would have to tell him I was going to bed because I wasn't feeling good, when I had really bad anxiety. I was young and didn't know how to talk myself out of it. My parents finally noticed my behavior and sent me to a councellor. She was an older lady, and a very wise one. She taught me how to control my anxieties and to talk myself out of panic attacks, and it worked for quite some time. However, when I turned 13, a few years after that I started to go out more, I had more freedom as a teenager and started to see the world more. The more I exposed myself to things, the more these anxieties would return. Except now, they were turning into deja vu's. I would start to feel shaky, and get butterflies in my belly and really nervous at the sound of loud or sudden noises, and between those the deja vu's would start. They were happening up until I was 17 (from what I remember), I would be sitting with my friends and I would feel the deja vu coming on, and I would tell them out loud that I was having one, and they would say "wow, I get those all the time they're totally weird" and I would just brush it off because I heard they were normal. Now my deja vu's happen more frequently and when I feel one coming on, I close my eyes and think about what I saw before (in my dream), or the first time I saw, felt or heard it and I would be able to predict what would happen next. Now I have the power to stop them, give myself a few seconds to predict what will happen and watch it play out. It's not major things, just little details. I predict my own thoughts even, the way I react when I see something that I felt I've seen before. I've been told by a very wise friend that I have a gift. I'm an "adjuster", energy flows along me rather than beside me. At first I thought he was crazy then it all started to make sense. I've always been the quiet child, sitting on the outside and just observing the others. Karma has never been a real thing for me, I feel like I have no fate or destiny. I've done lots of research on this topic but I was never successful on finding answers. If anyone knows what this is, or had felt it before, I would appreciate you sharing your story! I need some answers and sources on how to find them. Thank you so much for reading:)