My Sixth Sense Is Leaving Me Torn

I am a 25 year old female and I have always been "different" to any one else I have ever known. It started when I was very little, first known experience was at the age of 3. During a trip with my parents, about 80 miles from my home, I was sat in the car and pointed to an area which was a housing estate, and I asked my dad where all the lorries had gone. When my parents had no idea of what I was referring to I went on to describe in detail what I thought had been there, a large warehouse with several lorries parked up. I was even able to tell them the colour of said lorries. My dad researched this. It had been there, but demolished and rebuilt as a housing estate 5 years before I was born.

As a child I did these things often and thankfully my parents never discouraged me even though it was not something with which they had had previous experience. Though apparently I did cause some embarrassment as I didn't think before I spoke, just blurted it out. I would tell people about loved ones who had passed even if I had never met them. Though I have never communicated with spirits or anything like that, I just seem to know things that I have no explanation for knowing.

I have also always been able to know a persons character without even speaking to them. Just glancing at them and I have a feeling of some sort towards them, be it fear, friendliness, hate, love, its just there. As a child I was petrified of people in costume as I couldn't get that immediate reaction. I have been asked if I see an aura or a colour and no I don't. I just know how I feel towards them I can't explain it any better than that. My instincts have also always been proved, or at least they have in my opinion. At school there was girl who joined and my friends welcomed her into out "group". I tried to hide it, but I disliked her immediately I knew I couldn't trust her, and I ended up falling out with some of my friends because of it. Turned out I had been right she ended up spreading lies, rumours and secrets. I was the only one spared as she had never got close enough to me. As an adult my uncle met a new girlfriend who I disliked and did not trust. Every one else including my parents loved her, said I was overreacting. She was a brilliant actress, she was using him for his money and had a lover on the sidelines waiting. Those are just a couple of examples.

Now I am in a relationship with a man and have been since I was 17. We have made a home and a family together, but now on starting to feel like I am missing something. It started 18 months ago. I began to have dreams either every night or every other night. The same scenario just during different periods of time, though always during a war. In it I receive word of my husbands death, I attend his funeral then I come home to a letter from him. It always says the same thing. "if you don't look for me I can never be found". I do not know his name or his face, but when I wake and find my actual partner next to me my stomachs drops and I have this huge sense of disappointment. I love him so this reaction makes no sense yet I have always listened to my instincts and so far they have never steered me wrong so its difficult to ignore not that I even know what to do with this. All I know is that I now have this urge to find someone I don't even know and feel lost and empty without them.