I'm 17 years old, and for as long as I can remember I've always felt a bit off or differentiated from the world and other people. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, anxiety, ADHD & OCD when I was around 15 after my parents finally decided to have me sent to therapy and psychoanalyzing (I grew up in a pretty religiously spiritual Christian household, although not very strict, and my family didn't "believe" in mental disorders for a long time), so for a while I had always put off my weird experiences to those disorders acting up again and again.
However, I've always been extremely sensitive to spiritual presences. I've never seen a ghost in my own house or anything like that, but I can always detect if a presence is near and if it's malicious. Before I was being treated for my depression, the spirits that would come around me gave me terrible feelings of fear, enough to send me into panic attacks and make me feel as if something was always pushing down on my shoulders with brutal force. Thankfully, now that I'm out of that vulnerable emotional state, it rarely happens to the point where I can't will the feelings of fear away with some good energy, but I can still feel presences around in certain areas I go (especially the woods/waterfall my friends and I hang out at. The feelings there aren't malicious, but they have given me senses of warning before, albeit gently, that prompt me into leaving every now and then, almost as if the feelings are trustworthy).
On another note, I have always been drawn to "paranormal"/"fantastical" things since I was a child. I constantly am researching and learning as much as I can about mythology from all over the world (specifically Celtic, since my own heritage always interested me). Faeries, demons, angels, any creatures of the like have always seemed to be my calling, and my friends and family constantly dismiss my love for other cultures and their ties to each other spiritually as unimportant. When I'm in nature, I always feel hypersensitive to plants and animals and their emotions, sometimes as if there are other beings there with them. I have always had a strong tie to animals, plants and insects. I feel connected and comfortable around them more so than I do with people.
Then again, I'm very intuitive with both people and animals. I know whether or not to trust someone by simply looking at them in the eyes, and sometimes I can predict the things people will do in certain situations before it occurs.
Finally, and this is the thing I feel the most odd about since practices with energy always seem out of my league spiritually: the energy I feel in my hands. More specifically, the energy I can "summon", for lack of better words, to my palms. For a long time I thought it was normal, just something in my nerves maybe, but when I brought it up to my parents offhandedly a while ago they said that it was weird of me to say that and that they didn't understand what I was talking about. It's just that when I concentrate on it, I can physically feel energy moving from my arm down to my palm so it creates a warm and weighted feeling there. It doesn't do anything that I know of in terms of projections, but yesterday I finally researched into it some and since I had hurt my finger awhile earlier, I decided to see if I could transfer some of that energy flow into that finger to see if anything happened.
Oddly enough, it felt better nearly 2 minutes later. I could bend it again with less than half of the pain I had in it before, but I don't want to jump to any conclusions just yet -- it could have been a coincidence, right? I've always felt like ALL of this could be one big coincidence, honestly, but something always seems to try and tell me that it isn't.
Help, please! I really would like to know if there is something weird or off about me, or if I am simply overreacting about things.
I feel like I can also sense feelings/emotions. And I also very attracted to myths/Mythology. And try to learn as much as I can.
😕