I'm not really sure what this is really. There's been a bit of death in my family and household lately, and recently I've noticed that I get a sort of "gut feeling" when it's going to happen. It's hard to explain really.
Five of my pets have died in the last three years. Only my two died of old age, the rest died from health issues. My dog, Lucky, was 15. One night he seemed more lethargic to me than usual, but when I asked my brother about it, he looked at me strangely. My brother said that Lucky seemed normal, running around in the backyard playing fetch. I tried to be reassured, but I still had that feeling whenever I looked at the dog. My mind just screamed "you're dying."
Sure enough, Lucky passed away in his sleep that night, taking my brother and father completely by surprise. They didn't even have to tell me. As soon as I woke up, I knew.
The same thing happened with my cat, Tigger. The difference was that she was in perfect health, only 6 years old. I was petting her when I suddenly felt cold, and got that same twisting feeling in my stomach. I took the matter up with my father, but he didn't understand. Tigger wasn't acting differently so he just thought I was being paranoid. She disappeared for a week after that. My brother and father just assumed she had gotten outside and would come home eventually. I knew better. We found her dead under a tree in our backyard 6 days later, looking like she just went to sleep and never woke up.
It's not just animals either. My mum passed 2 years ago, the result of pneumonia mixed with emphysema. The last night I saw her, she was having a very hard time breathing. I helped her to the truck so my father could take her to the hospital. As I was helping her, I got the same feeling. I realized that this would be the last time I saw her, and so instead of saying "I'll see you soon," I just said "goodbye." There was this overwhelming sense of helplessness, that her death was inevitable, even though at the time all she needed was oxygen. We'd taken her to the hospital before for the same reasons, and she returned each time without incident. Only I seemed to know that this time was different. She died three days later with my father by her side. There were complications, and her condition worsened severely. Not even the doctors saw it coming. I did though.
The most recent experience was just last night/this morning. I didn't get a feeling per-say. It was more of a thought I had briefly while falling asleep. "What would happen if father had a heart attack?" I banished the thought almost as soon as it came to my mind, the experiences with death have left me spooked and I didn't want to jinx my fathers health. And yet just this morning, my brother woke me up in tears to tell me that, sure enough, father had had a heart attack.
Another difference with this situation is that he hasn't died, thank the gods. Currently he's in the hospital, but everything looks promising. But as soon as I heard, I went into a panic thinking I had brought it on. I saw my mother's death, so did I bring on my father's too? As soon as logic kicked in I realized that I probably didn't. It's just too eerie that I predicted exactly what would happen, not twelve hours before it did.
I don't know what this is, so I'm posting it here. I'm hoping others out there can relate just so that I know I'm not crazy. Lately it feels like I'm losing my mind and I would really appreciate any reassurance that I am not.
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