When I was younger I used to be able to sense spirits. At least, that's what my mother told me. I don't really remember much of it. My last memory of these experiences was on a family vacation to San Francisco when we went to visit Alcatraz island. I only remember a bit of it (personally I think I must have blocked the experiences) but what I do remember is running to the ferry while my mother and older sister were sprinting to keep up with me.
We had been in the middle of the tour when I just got really frightened and that's when I ran. There was a ferry in five minutes and one in twenty and I remember that I refused to stay on that island any longer and I was ready to swim for it if I had too. So we had made the ferry and went back to out hotel room. My mom asked what I had meant by something I said but I couldn't remember saying anything. Apparently I had told her that "they're all still here" just before I ran.
After that I don't remember sensing anything and I was happy that it was over. It's almost ten years later now and I'm getting really scared. I'm beginning to sense things again, though not nearly as bad as I remember from when I was young.
Basically, everywhere I go I feel like I'm being watched and I'm constantly shivering despite the fact that I'm not cold. Sometimes I get an overwhelming sense of fear that I can't explain and just run up to my room and lock myself in there for hours on end.
Sometimes I see things out of the corner of my eye but when I look they're gone and it's really starting to freak me out. I've heard noises in my house for months and lately I've even started hearing voices but when I go to look there's no one there. Whatever is happening is getting worse to the point where I'm afraid to be alone in my house. I leave every light on but I can still feel it watching me.
My mom says this sort of thing runs in my family but I don't find much comfort in that. I've searched the internet for anything on sensing spirits but haven't found anything useful aside from a few articles here and there that share some common characteristics, but none are particularity helpful. All of them say things like accepting it or ignoring it, but I don't know how to deal with this. I can't ignore this feeling or what I'm seeing, but at the same time I can't sense it well enough to try to resolve it.
In short, I want to know whether I'm really sensing spirits or whether I'm just going crazy. And if I really am sensing spirits what am I supposed to do about it? I don't want to be afraid all of the time anymore.
As of now I'm probably not in the clearest state of mind. I just had another experience while I was showering. Even though I had my music on I could still hear voices (and I don't mean the song). I couldn't tell what they were saying but I could tell it wasn't a part of the music so I went downstairs but there wasn't anyone there. While I've been writing I've been basically curled up in a corner trying to make that feeling go away. For the most part it has dissipated but it still scared me and I want to know what I can do to deal with what's happening to me and what to expect next if anyone has gone through something similar. I have no doubt that it's only going to get worse from here and any input would help me cope. I appreciate it.
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