Throughout my life I've had a number dream experiences but always considered them to be merely coincidence. I have never thought much of them until I was in my twenties and my grandmother passed away shortly after a series of identical dreams. Prior to and even more so after this event, I have noticed a distinct connection between my family members deaths and this series of dreams I would have over the 2 weeks prior to them passing away.
My dreams are guided by a spirit unknown to me at the time, taking me places that I have never seen before, almost giving me a guided tour of someone's life though there are never words spoken or not that I can remember, maybe I tune it out because I don't want to hear it. It is usually short because I tend to get a little scared when I feel the presence of the spirit getting closer to me, trying to communicate with me or tell me whatever it has brought me to this place to tell me. The reason it wraps up so quickly is because when I feel scared I tell the spirit to go away and to leave me alone and I never finish these dreams. In each of these dreams the spirit gets upset when I tell it to go away and right before I wake up it lashes out, never to hurt me, only to show frustration that the point it is trying to make may be valid and that I should know it. I have never been able to finish one of these dreams, but within 2 weeks of the series of dreams starting one of my family members will pass away.
The thing is, I can distinctly recall and vividly describe the locations I have been taken though I have never seen them before. I can even tell you the names of the spirits taking me. What bothers me is that these "guiding" spirits are all family members that had passed away before I was born. They are taking me to places familiar to the person who the dream is referencing. This is always confirmed after the fact by the one person I share this with which happens to be my mother. It almost feels embarrassing if anyone else finds out and asks me about it.
I have never been able to share these experiences with anyone aside from my mother because I really don't know anyone but her that would understand and not think I was crazy or over emotional. The thing is, death doesn't bother me that much and it never really has. I understand it is a part of life. I just want to understand this gift that has been given to me and how to keep myself from getting so scared that I push away whomever is trying to communicate with me.
As a child I was always prone to nightmares and would talk in my sleep. My parents bought me a dream catcher which seemed to filter out most of my dreams, however, these particular dreams still managed to get through. I have felt the presence of spirits in most of my dreams since I have ditched my dream catcher as of late and now I just want to know if I can train myself to control my emotions in my dreams.
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It almost sounds like this spirit (?one of your guides?) is trying to show you how to help the loved ones of those who have passed.
So, you are not upset by the death, but by showing you intimate details of that person's life, you could theoretically be able to communicate this information to a grieving relative, to help them move on.
This spirit is "training" you on your own family first, not necessarily because they need to be helped, but because your mother can verify some of the information you have gotten about family.
Sounds to me like training to be a medium.
Just a thought.
Isle - Lora