This Is my Story

My name is Courtney. I'm twenty-three years old. Ever since I can remember, I have been more "in-tuned" with things. I think I use my imagination to keep myself out of it, for what I see and experience isn't always pleasant. I've always been told I have the habit of getting away from the real world and delving into a fantasy world. I know why I do it and I sometimes force myself to do it to keep myself sane.

I'll start at the beginning:

I've always been a loner. I don't like crowds. I was even that way as a child, actually physically pushing myself away from people (including my mother) who held me. I also had certain people I hated and wouldn't want to be around even though I didn't know them.

Once my mom had this boyfriend. I hated him. He was a horrible man and did horrible things. I used to say things to him and her about it, but everyone denied it. Well, no one believed me until he did the things to me. I was so mad at my mother for not believing me before I didn't talk to her for days.

After that, I enclosed myself in my own little world. I was content on being alone. I had friends, but they were far and few between. I tended to attach myself to the more outgoing types for some strange reason, but my friendships never lasted long. During this time my best friend died from being hit by a car, I believe that had something to do with it also.

I eventually find myself living with my father. My mother and I don't get along well, so it was the best thing. This was during middle school, and I used to walk home. On the way was this overly large hill. I would run down it often. Basically, though, you can't see around it and it's a hazard for drivers.

Well, I was running and tripped. But, instead of falling forward, I fell backwards onto my butt. Just then a car came speeding by. If I would of fallen forward I would of been hit by the car.

I know it doesn't sound like a psychic thing, but what followed after that incident took me to the conclusion I'm at today. Since that ordeal I was able to "pick up" on things and people. I could read people, know when they were lying or know what they had done in their past. It was never complete, but it got more accurate as I got older.

I also began having dreams that would scare me awake. They weren't always "evil" but they were so real I'd scare myself. They would be of situations, conversations, places that I would be in in the near future.

I tried to enhance my abilities. I was curious. What was this that was happening to me? If I only knew the problems that would result! I did all sorts of things, Tarot, Ouija, Runes, whathaveyou. It opened the flood gates and for a good few years I was in a constant state of depression from what I felt.

I also saw things. They were all sorts of things, people, and animals. Sometimes they would see me, other times they didn't. Some didn't scare me, but a few did. They gave off such anger and evil I would nearly run the other way when I saw them. Often I knew they were around when I wasn't able to breath or when I would suddenly get so angry and there wouldn't be a logical trigger.

It was like a surge of emotions ran through me all the time. I was fine as long as I was alone and away from people. Once I went to school or went to the mall I could have such extremes of mood swings people would worry about me.

Finally it became too much and I had to seek help. Only, I didn't know what was wrong. I was put on all sorts of medications that either made me worse (it wasn't fun, either) or made me feel dead to the world. Sometimes I would hallucinate so badly I'd have to stay at home in bed. I went through all sorts of treatments, but still nothing worked.

It's been nearly three years and I finally have stopped taking everything and refuse to see anyone about it. No one that I know, other than a few friends, understand what's happening to me.

I've seemed to grow into my abilities as I can control it to a small degree now. I know my husband's friends better than he does. I know when he's done something he shouldn't have, and know exactly when he did it. I even know when his best friend is depressed and why. I still can't be in crowds for long.

I hardly ever have the dreams, though. Believe me, it's not a bad thing. I can sleep more now. When I'm actually tired...

Thanks for listening (and reading). Maybe this can help someone else? This is also a severely shortened version.

*I've had a lot of experiences that I don't feel comfortable with writing here.