I've been having this indescribable feeling that I have had before a numerous amount of times, now and then. And yesterday I felt it again, actually I feel it now to.
Ever since I was a little girl I new I was "different", meant for something. I still don't quite know what that something is. But I know it's out there. This feeling is so strange, I feel like I'm not supposed to be here, I don't belong here.
I feel like I want to go home, even though I'm already home. Yesterday I felt so strange I wanted to go "Home" so much it almost drove me to tears. I just somehow know this has something to do with my gifts. And that there is someplace that I need to be, but I don't know where that it is.
I feel distant, like I am in the wrong place. Kind of like something inside of me is dying. And if I don't find this place where, I need to be something inside me is going to die.
Before I graduated from high school I felt this feeling, although at different times, even years in between. I have no understanding of what this means, that's why I came here. I figured what better place to talk about the wacky and unknown than here. Sometimes it's like I'm being reminded to remember something, something I can't put into words.
Ever since I started having these "feelings" I can't help to think about a weird memory I had from when I was a child. I can't help to wonder if these two things are connected.
When I was about five years old I got this "flash", of a memory I had forgotten (here's the wacky part lol).
I remember something from before I was born. Before I was born into the real world. I remember being somewhere in the universe/space with others. And I remember that we were waiting for our turn to be born.
It was like a person's soul was waiting to be born into a body. And I remember thinking when I was waiting, now it's my turn. It sounds pretty weird I know.
But when I was about five years old I had a flash of this memory like someone wanted me to remember this. And I can't help but think that this feeling of wanting to go "home" is connected to this memory.
I am just hoping that someone can help me with this, because I don't understand a thing. Sometimes it would be so much easier to understand everything if I had someone to teach me around the ropes. 'Cause sometimes I feel like no one will ever understand me, not even myself.
- Denise
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