Where to start. Well you should probably know that I am 20 years old & I now truly believe I have some sort of ability, not quite sure what they are, but I know they're there. Growing up I never really had any abilities, at least from what I can remember. The only thing that happened from about 7ish (after a traumatic experience) to 13yrs old is that I'd have very lucid religious dreams from time to time. Also the house I was living in at the time had to be blessed by a priest twice because of the weird things that would happen (banging pots, strange noises around the place especially in the bathroom, etc) I always felt uncomfortable in my bedroom there alone. We ended up moving to another house when I was 11 years old. The dreams though pretty much stopped after 13 years & not much really happened to me for a couple years, but in that time I had always felt really scared in my room still. I'd hear things & get really weird feelings, so bad in fact that I didn't feel safe alone & I'd end up in my sleeping in my parents room.
Then an incident at about 16 years old freaked me out. My great aunt had been placed in a nursing home & one night I had a thought, just a thought; no vision or dream just this incessant thought that I knew with absolution to be true, though no one had told me. I knew with out a doubt that that night (or morning since I was up until 3am) was my great aunt's last. I knew she was gone. I cried for almost 2 hours straight, then calmed myself & went upstairs & got in bed with my grandma (who was her sisters). I contemplated waking her up to say something, but I didn't want to upset her or anything especially since I didn't know if it was really real though I felt it was. I went to sleep that night around 3am. Now like always I sleep late (I'm def NOT a morning person lol), but that morning the phone rang (usually I sleep right though them), however my eyes popped open on the first ring, kind of like I was anticipating it. My first thought was 'please don't let this be the call that my great aunt has died' I kept thinking it over & over again, even though I knew it was, & then I heard my grandma cry softly downstairs, & I already knew (I couldn't even cry when my grandma came upstairs to officially tell me because I had already cried so much before). I couldn't believe what had happened at first or why. I was so scared of it that I didn't like to talk about it at all, in fact when I told my mom, I couldn't help but cry. I still don't quite understand the how or why of it, but I've accepted it. This is still very sensitive for me to talk about. After that I had a similar incident about my cat like a year later. The thought that came to me was so specific too. I thought that my cat (who lived with my grandparents) had died, that my grandma took her to the vet & put her down & purposely didn't tell me about it so I wouldn't go & be upset. I kept asking my grandma about my cat & she kept telling me she was in the vet's office but was fine. Finally I snapped at her & told her I knew she was lying to me on purpose & had put her down like a week ago. She was surprised at first, & then gave my mom the eye, but my mom told her she never said a word (& she never had either). I just knew. There are several other instances where this has happened, both with serious things like death & not so serious things like my mom getting pregnant with me before she got married (of which she still denies), but its so random from the when to the what, but when I get this type of 'thought' it sticks in my head all day long & I really can't think about much else also there's the overwhelming sense of absolution that comes with it that I know its true without a doubt. My mom had dreams of dead people when she was younger, but was too scared. She tried hard not to deal with any of it so eventually it stopped. But about a couple of years ago my mom started going to psychics & my sisters & I. It's become a thing we do from time to time, but lately I feel like I can't get the answers I'm looking for from them.
Recently I've moved into my grandparent's house & strange things have happened like REALLY FREAKY THINGS. It started about a year ago when I'd stay over sometimes, but has gotten worse since I've moved in. Things like I feel like I'm always being watched, there will be footstep sounds going up & down the stairs & in the room above (which is of course the room I sleep in), bang on the doors, a snapping sound like a lamp switch, sounds of things sliding across the floor, things falling, the computer & monitor screen going on & off in the room, etc. My grandparents are very skeptical & try to find logical reasons for everything that happens. Like: "it's an old place", "leaky pipes", "thin walls" & "my imagination". Perhaps they're right but sometimes when I lay down to go to sleep, I find myself in this in between state like it's really nice kind of gives you a this fuzzy/hazy feeling (kind a like you've been drugged lol). I've been able to do this before at times, but lately it happens more frequently (like right now it's been happening every night). Well I was just fine with it before because it felt nice, but not anymore. What happens is that when I'm in that state I can sense everything around me EVERYTHING. Whatever thing that is there has touched me in several different occasions (these instances have happened anywhere from weeks to months apart). First time, I felt a hand on my side (down to every fingers & actually I thought someone was literally in the room touching me) & a pressure on my chest. The second was something holding down my ankles. Third something holding my entire body down, this time I was freaking out so bad that when I finally broke out of the state, I had so much momentum that I jumped out of bed a twirled around within seconds. The forth time I actually sled across the bed, like physically right up next to the wall & felt/saw my arm move up & felt something touching my body. It scared me so much especially when somehow I got slid down & my pillow was almost covering up my whole face. I had to sleep with my grandparents that night too.
So I told my family about this. My grandparents thought it was my imagination & I think my siblings did too, but my mom figured it could be a ghost. As the incidences progressed though, she told me it could be some kind of demon or something messing with me (which of course freaked me out even more) but she also said maybe it could be me in that state doing those things. For a while now I've thought I could be crazy & I'm pretty sure my grandparents thought the same. So I narrowed it down to 1) I'm absolutely insane 2) This is really a ghost or something along those lines or 3) I'm somehow doing this to myself. Well as I've been recently debating which & hoping that I'd get some kind of sign to know, even if it turned out that I was completely off my rocker, then about 2 weeks later (which was about 2 weeks ago now) I was in my car taking pictures of my new hair style with my phone & got a weird feeling, but just tried to let it go. Well I took a picture in the mirror of the car & in the back seat was a visible figure. I've showed my family & friends & they blew it up on the computer, but all of them say it actually looks like a ghost or something because there's definitely a figure there behind me. Surprisingly, my mom (who's all into this stuff) has been kind of strange about it all. She had always said that she gets freaked about this stuff when it gets to a certain point, so I think that's why she so distant with it right now. She also told me to stay away from going too deep in this stuff, that I didn't know what I was getting myself into, & I won't be able to control the things that happen once I 'open this door'. I didn't really believe her & curiosity got the best of me, so now I'm in my current predicament. A main concern I have is that I keep slipping in the in between state & can't stop it unless I get so tired that I go straight to sleep, but that has now messed up my sleeping habits as I do not go to bed until 5am because I'm too scared. I want to learn how to control & expand this state as well as learn how to work in it, but it feels like that's when this thing can control me, so I'm too scared to try anything. Also, every time something happens, I feel so exhausted in the morning, like I never got any sleep & my mind is all jumbled (I usually have a headache all day). All the psychics have told me to picture a white light & make it go into it but it hasn't worked & right now I feel like whatever it is, it knows by now that I'm freaked by it & it's purposely trying to scare me because it hasn't tried to get me to understand it, only to fear it. If someone could help me out in anyway by telling me what it could be, how to stop it, & how to control my in between state & the effects it has on me while I'm in it (it feels like it purposely tries to keep me in the in between state), I'd appreciate it. If you need anymore info on my experiences, please ask. Thank you!
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