Evil Spirit?

Help if you can help. I am 25, and I for many years have believed in the paranormal. I am able to tell you where things are, I can tell you stories of your past and sometimes the future, and I can talk with ghosts. I can also make some things happen.

I always thought it was weird, but I once saw a girl (L) and she believed in the paranormal so I gave her a reading. Before giving her the reading I warned her that I would have to break up with her (I don't know why, I felt like I was forced by someone) and she understood, so I gave her a reading. I saw a girl in the reading (A) who I can not talk about, I try to describe her but I know I shouldn't as bad will happen if I do. This girl or lady protects my ex-friend and the house but I could not look at her. She warned me not to so I didn't. Temptation got the better of me and I closed my eyes one day and saw the destruction of this girl (A) life and why she didn't want me to see, then she stared at me and left me feeling different. Like a curse.

A couple of years on and I have noticed I can still see things except now I can see more evil spirits. I recently went to Australia to live with my current girlfriend, and a spirit was in her garden, and another used to wander near the fences to the houses beyond the gardens. I came back to the UK and I now feel like something is sitting in my mind, waiting. I know they want me for something and I try to stay away from finding out what it is. Although now I have a clue, I think I have got death waiting in me. I know it sounds so silly, but all of a sudden I will think something and it will happen, and these aren't nice things. I am a nice person I do not want to harm anyone, but now these thoughts are getting worse at times. I know it is not normal to be thinking these things but I can not help it, like something takes over and that is it. I can be miles from the people and I will think it and it will happen.

I can tell something big is going to happen soon, and I have a feeling I am to be a part of it in some respect, I have no idea what it is, but whoever is using my mind is slowly breaking me down to prepare for this, writing this is one of my lucid moments.

I think whatever it is, if I can defeat it, may be back so I also need a symbol to tattoo myself with to stop this.

But before that, how do I defeat this?