Coming Into The Knowing Of Being Psychic 2

My God, exactly.

Since writing my last story which I believe was no more than two weeks ago it seems like things are opening up to me at a much faster pace than I had anticipated.

It's really confusing, a little scary and changes the way you think about nearly everything. I mean I have always felt that I was different since I was a child but to finally have confirmation that the feelings are real its like...um, 'What do I do with this, who do I share this with?' I've been reading every book I can find on the topic (I am already a very avid reader) and all that I've been feeling has been confirmed but when you think BACK through your life THAT'S when it gets a little overwhelming to swallow.

Right now I'm confused.

It started with a painting I did that came out looking like a crime scene when all I wanted was an abstract. I have always been drawn to what I am now learning is Spirit Art so you can see why I find this painting to be unsettling.

I had a dream before this that I've learned could somehow be a visitation?

It started with me filling up a SUV (white) at a gas station (I don't have a SUV). I can in my mind even now the gas station almost clear as day in my mind, its a beautiful day in the summer. An open concrete lot and in the dream I'm the only one getting gas which seemed odd given the number of pumps. There's a gap where I can't see but I just knew out of nowhere I'm being chased which I'm going to assume took place from the gas station and I remember being totally dumbfounded and thinking exactly 'You have the wrong person' and so convinced that if I could tell whoever is targeting me that they have the wrong person I would be alright.

Next thing I see is me and my girls are being in a house (I don't have a house) and frightened and just scrambling not knowing WHAT to do. I see a car pull up I think is how it happened and their walking toward the house and I tell my girls to get on the floor against the wall and next thing there is these people shooting from the outside in and its so much shooting. I am completely hurt and scared and so sad for my daughters, even now I am nearly crying.

Then that part just stops and it ends with me outside with my two girls on steps which seem to be a different place but not sure. I feel calm (given what I experienced in dream!) and next thing I know a SUV pulls up (white?) and instead of the complete entourage of bullets there's just one slight sound and next thing I know I'm holding my oldest daughter (who in real life is only just turned 5) with my 3 year old beside me and I'm holding my daughter just HYSTERICAL! But it was like this moment just froze and my daughter looks up at me and says 'I'm sorry, I'm Sorry' and dies. This made me even more hysterical because I'm telling her its not your fault YOU didn't do this but its too late! Another weird thing is that my 3 year old is beside me this whole time just as quiet as ever, not crying and had a very in depth look like she was thinking very deeply. I thought it strange that I saw this even though I was in piece's and that's when I woke up. When I woke up it was morning time and I'm crying and still hysterical and tell my boyfriend 'They killed her, they killed her, they killed Melek' (he doesn't act phased). It took at least 5 minutes for me to be able to stop crying but this dream never left me.

I only remember having a dream THAT vivid when I was I believe ten but even that seemed more symbolic (A lion outside the house I grew up in growling 3 times at my stomach but not hurting me).

I want to believe that the rest is just me over reacting and being overly anxious which I don't want to be. I keep having Melanie Fiona's song 'It Kills Me' song come up over and over where ever I go.

So the other day I took my jogging stroller and girls over to my friends which was a little bit of a hike. I passed this shopping cart with a dead fox (my friend said its a fox but I just thought it was a dog she later told me) in it! Which was gross and frozen and I just said EWHH and pretended to my daughters I didn't know why I just said that.

I went with my friend over to her neighbors. There was this man and woman over there (her friend just got surgery and recovering) to help and I must say the man was rather outspoken and said some pretty rough things to the kids because he wanted them to stay out of the way. The woman with him looked very very timid and she seemed to be off and behind the conversation more than once not keeping up. So me and my friend go back to her apt, its dark she's inside I'm outside having a cigarette and her neighbor's radio upstairs I can hear through the window and it's 'Melanie Fiona's 'It Kills Me' song (don't know why Christine Milan comes up in my head every time I say that_i don't listen to her)!

But the crazy part is that even though I had been hearing the song I didn't really know her name so I opened the door to my friends apt and am asking her who sings the song (which I tried to sing but cant) but she doesn't know and close the door again.

Not even one minute later, I don't know what it was but immediately I felt something dark and it scared the daylights out of me and I have NEVER felt afraid of the dark. In fact I bike ride all the time at night after my kids are sleep and their dad watching them. I LOVE the dark and always felt safest and at peace then so this was TOTALLY out of character but almost like something pushing me inside her apt. All the instances above I mentioned went through my head in like 1 second. My daughter Melek was stuck right beside me from that moment on as if she could feel what I was feeling as much as I tried to hide it and not tell them anything, just that it was time to go home.

I had her neighbors family (the couple I was talking about) drive me home. It all became so surreal because before they drove me home the guy liked me so much (have no idea what I said?) that he laughed and said 'I'm going to adopt you' over and over. When we were leaving and they were taking me to their car it was like they knew they were there to help? But I don't think my friend told them anything NO I know because I didn't tell her all these things until AFTER they took me home--just that I needed to get home. In the car this couple were like two TOTALLY different people from who I witnessed at my friends neighbors house I was dumbfounded.

The woman was well spoken, asking me questions that were in depth. Like I'm adopted (I didn't tell them!) and she was asking me about my family and how I felt about them and stuff like that. Did they ever share with me things about my real family? There was a intuition to this lady and more ironic this man was no longer the very outspoken person but was now the listener and only said few words. One thing he told me is to never let my boyfriend take my kids, or his family to his country. Were they angels? When we got out the man and woman asked to see my daughter's eyes and beside the car their going on about her eyes, laughing in a joyful way, but I was kind of confused because it was dark. My daughter has beautiful eyes don't get me wrong, hazel, but it was like they saw much more. Her name means Angel.

That's just the tip of the iceberg it seems. I feel like me and my boyfriend's life are to take different directions and its a little scary but for some reason I got this feeling I'm going to be living near a beach? Still, should I still be looking out for my life? I go from feeling elated and at peace because I do feel very honored for the protection but then I go to being confused because I worry I'm not reading ALL the signs correctly but then I want to believe God will protect me regardless so its back and forth. Mostly I'm scared to be fully on my own without a man and with two kids. Please help.

Outside of this topic, I've had experiences where I'm now wondering if somehow spirits have tried to enter my body. We had one apt we lived in before we had kids and I always had night terrors there, our bedroom was in the attic. Once I woke up screaming and shouting, jerking back and forth but imagine it was muffled (?) but it did wake my boyfriend up and he woke me up THANK GOD! It felt awful, and I could hear in my mind 'What am I, where am I' stuff like that and feeling like I didn't know what I was! Recently I have been noticing this could be happening because I'll be laying in bed and I get a zapping type feeling, sometimes my spine jerks, my arm, leg which I've come to accept its something but don't know how to ask, don't know if I'm even ready. I have been getting this ice cold feeling only on my right toe for a week now. I will be sleeping and breath in real quick but not exhale but still be ok and don't know if their coming or going?