This is more a call for help than just sharing a story. A little background... It's my dad, not me, who can "see" the future. Not that he can see it whenever he wants, he has dreams of things that end up happening. The night my grandfather died, my dad woke up and told my mom "my father is dead", she immediately knew it was true, and told him, we need to call them (they lived in another country).
The night my grandmother died my dad said to my mom, "I'm never going to see my mother again..." He says that in his dream his mother was basically saying goodbye to him.
He's told me about other things, trivial things, about dreaming about being with a very close friend somewhere... Who he didn't actually know. Years later he was sitting with his roommate who he had met after moving to the States... When it hit him, that was his dream, that's where they were and that was his friend.
Other things, he knew where he was going to live in his twenties, when he was a a lot younger... He had had a recurring dream of standing at the corner of his supposed home... But he didn't recognize the place. Years and years later he stood at the corner of his home... And remembered. He once dreamt of being in a place, that ended up being a Houston Show years later here in a completely different country.
That's just a general idea of the things he's told me, just to explain how it works with him. Well, we've all always known this, how he has somewhat of a weird sense of some future things. Here's the thing... My dad doesn't drink, because he has a very low tolerance and he always gets sick. He had a couple of beers today for some reason and got pretty drunk and started crying and telling me a bunch of things.
He told me about his dreams, about how he's been having them for years (since he was a kid), how he hates them, how he hates knowing what's going to happen. He doesn't understand why him, and doesn't know how to explain it, and how he hoped I didn't think he was crazy. He says he knows so many things that are going to happen, and things that are happening now, he knew... Or at least dreamed of them. I think the alcohol got the better of him and he may have been exaggerating a bit about knowing AS many things that he said (he didn't give details, he just said I know EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS! I think that was definitely the beers). But I know I believe him, I know that he's had dreams that have become reality.
This is what kills me now. He was crying and crying, because he said he also knows thing about his children, about what's going to happen to us. It's mostly two things that worry me. He told me that my brother wouldn't live to be 50. My brother recently dropped out of school and is living in another state in somewhat of a hippie community... We're all worried about what he's going to do with himself and my mom is scared he may get into, if not already heavy drugs and/or some kind of leftist group. My dad says that he (my dad) will move on first, but that he my brother will not live to see old age.
I told him not to worry, I told him I'd take care of my brother and that I would see to it that he would be okay. I assured him that I would never ever let my brother slip away like that, that I'd help him always. That's when he started talking about how, or really I started talking about how maybe he has these dreams so that he can change what will happen, maybe it isn't so much a sentence as maybe a warning. There is a reason why he has these dreams... And there was a reason why he told me about my brother, now I know, now I know that I have to take care of him, starting now before it's too late. I feel like these dreams have reasons for occurring, and that by him telling me about it, that already changes things.
He also told me that I would live a happy life, that I was a good person and that I was going to do fine for myself... And here's the bomb, that I'd have a baby boy. Thing is this, when he first started drunkenly mumbling and crying to me, he let it slip that I was going to have a son, and that he was going to die. At that time I thought he was just being drunk and talking crap. Besides I asked him laughing even, how would I have son? (I'm gay, I know that I can still have children... But when he told me this I thought he meant that I was going to get accidentally get pregnant like NOW, and it was going to ruin my life blah blah blah) but later when we actually sat down to talk, he repeated to me that I was going to have a son... But didn't say anything else, he just cried.
He said that I'd have my son after his (my dad's death) and so I said to him, well at least you've kind of met him already, and asked him why he was crying, wasn't that a good thing that I'd be having a son... And that's when it hit me, first I felt this immense love and joy and everything... At the thought of my son, MY son. And then like a blow to my life, I realized why my dad was crying, I'm going to have a son, and he's going to die, and I cried and cried for the death of a son I haven't even had and don't know if I'm even going to have. It was the most pain I've ever felt in my life. I cried so hard, because all of a sudden I believed it, I don't know if I can say I KNOW... But I felt this joy at the thought, like when you first hear that news from the doctor, "you're pregnant, and it's going to be a boy," I was ecstatic... And then... The most terrible loss of my life.
My dad is passed out right now. He's going to be so ashamed and apologetic tomorrow, he knows he can't drink. But, I feel almost like, I'm glad he did, and told me all these things. Because if it's true, I can save my brother. But how the hell do I save my son? I can't. I don't even know what he's supposed to die of. I can ask my dad about it tomorrow when he's sober but I have a feeling he won't want to talk about it or most probable that he'll act like it's not real and that he was just a drunk talking ridiculous things. I didn't ask him at the time because I knew he'd get rowdy again, and I didn't want to scare my little brother or upset the neighbors.
I wanted to tell someone, I wanted to ask someone's opinion, but I can't talk to anyone I know, because 1. My dad doesn't want people to know, I know this, this is his private thing. And 2. No one's going to believe me... Hey I'm going to have a son and he's going to die, what should I do...
I'm just a mix of emotions, this amazing thrill that I want to share with everyone, I'm going to have a son! And incredible unbelievable sadness...
Anything to say? Please someone say something, I just need to share this and know that it's reaching someone.
Loading comments....
