About 1 year ago I read a book on meditation. I had never meditated before this night. I decided to give it a try, and here's what happened... Walking through a beautiful green field, stepping lightly on carefully placed cobble stones. Winding and weaving through the lush field the stone continued on for what seems like miles ending at a beautiful even more captivating pavillion. The Pavillion was large, circular, and white with gold trim and intricate middle eastern design. The Door to the Pavillion very large, completely gold with few design, and 13-15 feet high and much wider than a average door.
I knew to enter, no fear, no hesitation. Although the door was very large and looked quite heavy, the door was almost weightless.
I entered into the Pavillion and into what seemed like a purple mist, beyond the mist it became completely clear. The door way of the pavillion was just a door way into a different outside.
There, the skies were bright and clear the air was fresh and clean. There were beautiful flower beds to my left, they followed along top a perfect stone wall and around a corner. In front of the stone wall, a bench and there sitting on the bench a man. I was standing in the middle of a wide man made path. Straight in front of me a very bight spot in the landscape, too bright to see beyond it. I started walking toward this beautiful warm and welcoming light only to be stopped by a man, cutting in front of me and walking slowly toward the light with his back toward me. The man turned and looked over his left shoulder at me and said "I'm Jamie", it was only then that I saw his face.
He was in his early to mid 30s on the short side maybe 5'4-5'6, chestnut brown hair, like a long bowl cut, his shirt, ivory loose fitting and muslin. Instantly I said "no your not!" I was instantly angry at this man who was proclaiming to be my old best friend that I hadn't seen in 3yrs and who was stopping me along my path toward the bright spot. I tried to continue walking but once again he was in front of me and he turned to be, but this time he turned completely around and said "I am jamie". Now I became even more angry and I grabbed both his shoulders and said "No, your not Jamie!" The man then grabbed me, with both his hands on my shoulder and then moving one arm to my right forearm he said very firmly "Call Jamie!", "Call Jamie!". This mans grip on my for arm was not aggressive but firm and insistent. Through his grip on my right arm I felt, anxiety, fear, sadness. I was not scared of the man but these feelings washed through my body by his touch, it was something he wanted me to feel, he wanted me to feel the urgency of his request.
I turned away from the man, away from the light and was once again in a dark room, alone, my eyes filling with tears, heart racing, sweating. I instantly got up, stumbled for my phone and began going through my contact list to see if there was anybody I knew that would have seen Jamie in the past couple years and of course there was nobody. That night I slept only little, too anxious to fall asleep. The next day while at work, I began looking for Jamie on the computer. I finally found a email address either that day or the next. Not being able to email out from work, that night after work (not having a computer at the time) I tried to email using my phone, something I had never done before. The emails came back to me several times as undeliverable, then finally it worked, the email was delivered.
From there I waited for Jamie to call (in my email I had left my cell #). The next day, Jamie called and left me a message. I was just relieved to hear his voice and finally felt my anxiety lessen tremendously, but I still felt that everything might not yet be o.k. I returned his call, the next day while at work. I was standing out side in the doorway of the dealership, it was pouring rain, and Jamie got on the phone and said hi and that it was nice to talk to me and that things had been going well. We talked for a minute or two before I told him my crazy story and why I felt I had to get ahold of him. Jamie and I planned to get together a few days from then. We hung out several different times before he told me the difficulty he had had the last week or so.
The day the man in my dream told me to "call jamie", Jamie had been very depressed, he had been walking many many miles on a railroad track, and had decided to take his own life. He had planned it out, but in the end did not do it.
What happened in my meditation? I couldn't have called him because he didn't have a phone. What was the purpose?
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