My name is Katie, I'm 19 years old and I'm a university student. I believe that I may be different to other teenagers in the way that sometimes I know things before they happen. I don't like to call them premonitions although in a way, this is what I am experiencing.
I was only three when I experienced this for the first time, or at least the first time that I remember. I was about to go on holiday with my parents and my grandad had dropped us off at the airport. My mum and dad told me to say goodbye to my grandad, and that I would see him in a couple of weeks when we came back. As my grandad embraced me I remember feeling a sense of loss and pain, and as I looked into his eyes, I remember telling him that I loved him but I would never see him again. Both my parents and my grandad were shocked to hear this, but just brushed it off, as I was a child and they presumed that I didn't understand that we were coming back. But I knew in my gut and in my heart that I would never see my grandad again. I also had the feeling that he knew it too, but he never said anything.
A few days into the holiday, we received a phone call from my auntie asking us to come home because my grandad had passed away. However, she never told us how, so my parents just presumed that his health had taken a turn for the worse because he had been suffering from cancer of the pancreas. They sat me down in our hotel room and told me that grandad had been really sick for a very long time and that God had taken him to heaven. But I knew different, and I insisted that my grandad had not died because he had been sick, but because he had fallen in the bathroom and banged his head. I just remember saying over and over again "No grandad hurt his head, grandad hurt his head." My parents didn't understand why I had got this into my head, they had absolutely no explanation.
When we got back home, my auntie came to pick us up from the airport and my dad asked if grandad had died in hospital because of his cancer. Then my auntie delivered the news that would make my parents look at me in a completely different way. She told them that my grandad had died at home because he had fallen in the bathroom and banged his head on the sink. She said that he never regained consciousness. My parents couldn't believe it, and now looking back on it, I find it hard to believe myself.
For years I went without another hint of anything, I just sort of blocked it out, and it became almost like a coincidence that I had known this. But when I reached around the age of 14, I started to experience this kind of thing again. Not as big or dramatic as the first, but little things that made me stop and wonder why they were happening. For instance, one morning I woke with the vivid image in my mind of a woman that I had never seen before. I got the impression that she was a kind, compassionate woman, but was also someone who didn't stand for any kind of trouble. I went to school that day to find that she was my new English teacher. I couldn't believe it. Coincidence?
And little things like this carried on throughout my adolescence, I just learned to accept that this was part of who I was, and that nothing I did would ever change it. And to be honest, I got a certain thrill out of knowing that I could do this. I would be sitting on my own when I would suddenly reach for my mobile phone before it rang, and the prompt answering freaked my friends out at first, but now they know that this is just me.
But things started to get stranger about twelve months ago. I was crossing a footbridge over a motorway one day when I was over come with the sensation of falling. I felt sick to my stomach and couldn't understand why I had sensed this sudden feeling. I aren't afraid of heights and so I knew that I hadn't come over all queasy because of that. All day the feeling nagged away at the back of my mind, and I couldn't seem to get rid of a knotty feeling that was settling itself within my stomach. I developed pains and stiffness in my back and my neck, and towards the end of the day, I was suffering from a full blown migraine. So I went to bed, hoping that I would think more clearly the next day.
But when the next day came, all of the feelings I had been experiencing the day before had completely disappeared. So I just presumed that I was having a bad day and that it had been my body's way of telling me to slow down. However, a few days after this experience, a man threw himself off the footbridge where I had felt this strange feeling. I didn't know what to make of it; was it linked, or was it pure coincidence? Even now I am unsure as to what it means, and whether it means anything at all.
Another experience, which happened a couple of months ago, happened when I was meant to be meeting my boyfriend. But the morning that we were supposed to meet, I woke with this feeling of disappointment in my heart; I had this strange feeling of heartache even though I was really happy with how things were. As I was getting ready, I remember thinking to myself that he wasn't going to turn up. I told myself that I was being stupid and that there was no reason for him not to turn up, so I went to the place where we were supposed to be meeting. I waited and waited, but to my great sadness, he didn't show. I couldn't understand why; things were great between us and we hadn't had an argument that would trigger him to behave like this. I rang him but he didn't answer, I left message after message, but he didn't get back to me. I was gutted. I thought that I had done something wrong or something to offend him.
As I sat at home brooding over this, I had the strange feeling that maybe it wasn't his fault, but my anger clouded my intuition, so I couldn't see what it was that something was trying to show me. Later that evening, I got a message saying that he had been rushed into hospital after collapsing. I nearly died. All of a sudden I knew that I known all along, but my anger and confusion had got the better of me.
These experiences are but a few, but they are, I suppose, the major ones, the ones that stay in my mind mot vividly, and I can't help but wonder if I could try and fine tune it in a way so that next time I will be able to help the situation in some way. I can't control when I have these experiences, I don't know when they are going to happen, but I wish that there was some way I could in a way control them, or at least have some sort of power over them. I'd love to find a way that I could enhance this 'ability' and then use it to help other people.
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