Gift? Or A Curse?

I am extremely in touch with my intuition. Over the years I've learnt to listen and trust my intuition, as it's hardly ever wrong and I almost always regret ignoring it.

I use the word 'intuition' as it's the only word I know to describe this feeling...

I am sharing my story because I feel it's more than just my intuition, some days I feel it's a curse. Maybe, if I understood I could embrace this and the outcomes of situations like these?

I first experienced this one Sunday on the way home from Hartbeespoort Dam.

My Grandfather owns a motorbike, throughout his life he has always owned motorbikes, and on occasion he would fetch me from school on it or on the weekend take me to the landing strip to watch the airplanes take off and land, however it's not the destination that brings me to my story but the journey.

There were many a times where the cars around us put our lives in danger, not intentionally but due to the fact that you can often hear but cannot see motorcyclists, having personally experiencing this from both a vehicles and motorcyclists perspective, when I hear a motorbike I ensure that when it approaches me, I move to the side providing the opportunity for the motorcyclists to pass me safely and being in a position where I can see the motorcyclist, on our way home from Hartees there was a man on his motorbike behind us, I could just see his group friends on their motorbikes, quite a few cars ahead of us, being a Sunday i'm assuming they were on a Breakfast Run or something to that affect together?

The road we were travelling on was a curvy and narrow road built on a mountain, the long drop on my left was frightening so I avoided looking at it, the motorcyclist was quite anxious to pass us, but due to the road being so narrow and the constant on coming traffic, the motorcyclist had no opportunity. The driver at the time was my boyfriend (was being the key word) was complaining about the motorcyclist, so I suggested in him just moving a little to the left so that the motorcyclist could pass him thus resulting in everyone being happy.

He ignored my suggestion, yet continued to complain, so I suggested him moving over again and motivated my suggestion by explaining that one of the perks of being on a motorbike is having the mobility to "zig zag" in between cars and avoid the traffic as well as the frustration of not being given the opportunity too, this only angered him further his words were "If I have to wait in traffic, he can wait in the traffic too".

He then started tapping on the breaks, which upset and infuriated me, as he is now putting surrounding lives in danger, due to the fact that he is stubborn which resulted in a heated argument between us. Eventually he edged to the left hand side allowing the motorcyclist to pass us, however he didn't just pass us but, he kept speed with us, he had a luminous purple helmet on, with a tinted sun visor, he lifted his sun visor and looked my ex in the eyes, I guess that look he gave him, is the look of which the saying "If looks could kill" derived from.

He then looked at me, however he looked at me differently?

He starred me straight in my eyes, it felt as if he was starring into my soul with his piercing blue eyes. I'm assuming he saw the argument we had, he dipped his head, the way a gentleman does when lifting his hat to acknowledging and respect a woman's presence. The gesture came across as a "thank you"?

I lost him in the distance, once he passed us.

However I was otherwise distracted by this sudden overwhelming feeling that something bad was about to happen, I can never explain this feeling nor tell you what's going to happen, but the feeling is intense!

I asked my ex to slow down, we were driving about 100km/ph, he questioned me and I explained that I had a bad feeling, he suggested that I read my book inorder to keep myself preoccupied and distracted. The feeling was so overwhelming that it brought me to tears, I proceeded in begging him to slow down and before I could finish my sentence everyone had their hazard lights on and were slamming on brakes, we came to a stop, safely. However the feeling didn't subside.

We practically sat in the car, in the same spot for almost an hour before the cars in front of us began moving. It was obvious that there was some sort of accident, we could see flashing lights in the distance.

As we drove past the accident scene, there lay a body covered by a thermal blanket not even a few feet away lay the luminous purple helmet... My heart sank and it took me days to recover, it was strange, I mourned someone I had never even met?

What was the point of this feeling, if I can do nothing about the situation?

My second occurrence will include a link to my story, https://southcoastherald.co.za/87017/man-dies-landing-150kg-marlin/

There is a slight link to my previous story and this story, I was in Hartees at the time of my previous story as I was completing my "Open Water License".

Shortly after receiving my license a trip to Durban was booked. I stayed at a beautiful diving resort, and upon arrival that afternoon I checked in and booked my very first Ocean dive, I booked a double tanker as I wanted to dive as much as I possibly could.

I was at the breakfast bar at 9 am as I had also booked a refreshers course just before my dive. Breakfast suggestion was dry toast to avoid nausea on the boat so, toast it was. The wait felt eternal, I had a rush of emotions. We then all packed our stuff on the back of a trailer on a bakkie, sat on the back of the bakkie and headed towards the beach. When we arrived at the beach we packed the rubber boat and headed to our diving destination. Words could never describe how beautiful that experence was, because a few of us were scheduled for a double tanker we met up with another diving boat from the resort, we got on the other boat and headed to our next diving destination. All of a sudden I had this over whelming feeling that something bad was going to happen. I was scared that my equiptment might fail while i'm on my dive, my diving instructor could see something was wrong and aproched me, I explained that I have an unsettling feeling and do not wish to take part in this dive. He asked me just to get into the water and should I still feel unsettled I can stay on the boat and that the skipper would keep me company, he said some times its just nerves and floating in the water sometimes calms them. I agreed and by then we had reached our destination, we began assembling our equiptment and suiting up, I was rinsing out my mask when the skipper realised that we were at the wrong destination and proceeded in reaching the correct destination, I dropped my mask due to the unexpected force of the water, one of the dive instructors free dove to retreve it for me, he came back up for a breath when I said I think its a sign and its okay i'll buy a new pair, but thank you for trying, another diver offered me thier spare set, when a mayday signal came through on the radio, we all removed and secured our equiptment as the skipper followed procedure. It took us about 20 minutes to locate this mayday, we approched a fairly decent sized fishing boat and a smaller boat a few meters to the left, their was so much commotion happening against the boat, the size of this fish had me think it was a shark attack for a few seconds.

We were notified there was a man on the little boat that needs medical attention, we were asked to move as far as we could towards the back of the boat to create space to assist this man. We got him on the boat with great difficulty and immediately supplied him with oxygen as the dive instructors began preforming CPR, we called for medical attention to the nearest beach wich was a good 15 - 20 minutes out, the diving instructor managed to resusitate the man but he passed away minutes after, the diving instructor proceeded in performing CPR until we breached the beach where lifegaurds and paramedics rushed to assist they declaired him dead on scene.

We all got back on the boat, the diving instructor apologized and offered either a full refund or a reschedule for tomorrow as well as, dinner and drinks on them tonight.

I dreamt and thought about that day for weeks, to the point where my mom suggested I see a psychologist. I checked the newspaper articles online everyday until I found his story.

Again, what\'s the point of getting this horrid feeling and not be able to do anything about it?

My last and most recent incident happened this year.

My boss is a friend of my families, he works from home. His fathers Cancer took a drastic turn for the worst. He was completely bedridden due to the amount of attention he needed the family hired a nurse as his mother was battling alone. The bathroom is located inside the house and the bedroom just before the bathrrom was the bedroom "Oupie" (my bosses father) was in. We always ensured Oupie was okay when passing this room, before I went to the bathroom I popped my head into the room to find him fast asleep and snoring when I was on my way back I popped my head in again and this random thought rushed into my head "What if he's in a coma"? As I got to my office I researched signs of a coma and told my boss we have to check that his dad is not in a coma, it took 6 of us to lift this old man up as he wasn't consciously responding to us. We called 9/11 but by the time they had arrived he had passed away.

I don't understand why that thought rushed into my head or how I even knew, I had to research the symptoms of a coma how is that possible and what's the point?

I would love any advise and to learn more about what this is as well as practice it for good if I can? If any one has any knowledge on this please could you share it with me.

Thank you

K... X