I suppose I should start with a littl background. When I was little I was always written off by my family as having a good imagination or being too sensitive. Of course looking back now I realize how much what I was going through used to effect me even as a kid. I remember that I could never sleep because of all the weird things that I saw floating on the ceiling so I started sleeping on my stomach because it felt safer. I felt less exposed to all the bizarre shapes, figures and colours. Then when I did get to sleep I would have dreams that sort of blended into reality. I'd wake up and it wasn't just a dream it was a memory, like it had really happened. Then around the time I hit age 10 things got weirder. It started with this black cloaked figure I saw down the hall from my room one night. It just stared me down, so I just rolled over because I was convinced that it was just my imagination. I didn't realize it at the time but it was an omen that I've seen throughout my entire life as a warning that someone's going to die. I've seen that same figure about two dozen times in my whole life and every time someone dies two weeks later. While the omen was the first time I knew something off, things kept getting stranger as I got older.
Let me start off by saying that, first I don't do drugs or drink heavily, and secondly I'm someone that whole heartedly believes in science. I like knowing and being able to see the course of events through the natural world. It seems life has another plan though because the things that I've experienced cannot be explained by science. So it leaves me with one of two options, either what I'm experiencing is real or I'm insane. I'm always leary to talk about what I go through with my family and friends because I don't want everyone to think I'm crazy. I mean some of what I've gone through is beyond words. I have been shaken awake, I've been yelled at by voices when no one is around. I've smelled rot, dirt, ash, perfume out of no where. I routinely see little balls of light floating around. I've been made to feel sick or weak on the spot or take on some sort of weird trait when I enter a certain place. And that's just the little things, the big stuff includes things that I can't even say are from this reality.
It seems like as I get older It's becoming more severe and frequent. There's seldom a day that goes by now without something odd happening. It's become so bad that my co-workers have actually been complaining that my voice yelling at them is waking them up at night. While they have no idea about my, abilities or whatever, I do. I try to laugh it off but I know in the back of my mind that with everything that I've gone through it's not outside the world of possibilities that I'm somehow psychically screaming at my co-workers as an outlet from work frustration. It's one thing for me to have to deal with this stuff but I really don't want it spilling over onto other people.
I guess my question is what am I and what can I do to mitigate some of these occurences? I'd really rather avoid letting the cat out of the bag and telling people that "Sorry I yelled at you in your dreams last night but I have some psychic abilities that I have absolutely no control over."
Yes as you already know, if you are true to your self, you have gifts. You will need to figure out how to work with them. No you are not crazy. Yes as you get older they will become stronger, unless you want to shut them down. Some people, if they try hard enough can shut down their gifts. A word of caution, you can lose them altogether sometimes. It doesn't happen often, but some people have experienced the loss of abilities. These people could not get them back with the same strength or type.
Ok, don't tell your CO-workers about your gifts or abilities if you wish to keep your job and friends. Be careful in what you talk to your family about. They may not be receptive to your beliefs. You need to go with your gut on that one. You know your family and friends better than anyone. You need to walk in 2 completely different worlds at the same time.
To help prevent your gifts from spilling into your workplace there are a couple techniques.
1. Try to work on meditation and quieting your mind before going to bed.
2. Read a book or watch a film or TV show and try to give your mind something other than work to work on tune into. It needs to be completely unrelated or even in the realm of fantasy.
I myself use SCI-FI or the Bible, or a reference book to give my mind something to chew on to keep it busy. It helps me shut down my gifts a little bit. The big idea is clear your mind out and then give it something totally different to work with while you sleep. 😳