I have a bit of an odd story. First off, last night I woke up abruptly feeling like someone or something was watching me, standing over me. I startled awake and there was something/someone standing beside my bed looking at me. I tried so hard to clear my eyes and make it go away, but it didn't. It felt very possessive and a little invasive. I was scared, not that it would hurt me in any way, but that what ever this was wanted to keep it's eye on me carefully, and wanted me to know it was there.
I'll explain my story, and if anyone has any insight into this odd scenario of events, I would love to hear your thoughts!
Now I'll start by where this all began.
I was married for almost 20 years. To a guy who was not good for me at all. Needless to say it was a horrendous divorce and went so far as me having him arrested for harassment and intimidation, and had a restraining order issued. So that's part one. After we split, I ended up dating someone in our town. We dated for about a year. It was a terrible relationship, and far worse than my marriage. It was extremely volatile and very "odd". When it was good, it was great, but when it was bad, he was very strange and very possessive. I knew that he was spiritual as we had often talked about it. He used to tell me sometimes when we were in his room that his father was in the corner watching us. He hated his father being around him and I got the impression that he did not have a good relationship with him. That his watching over his son was not out of "love and kindness" but more of a stalking.
So let's fast forward a little. The relationship goes up and down and up an down. Rough. Then finally I knew it was not healthy and that I had to get away from this guy. He was not a good man. He had told me of some other relationships he had been in, or how he had treated some women, and (let me just clear up by saying he was manipulative and cunning, but not physically abusive) from the stories I knew that he had big issues with women and trust etc. He would set people up and arrange situations to get them caught in things.
I had met someone else and knew that I had finally met the man I was supposed to be with. I have always been extremely spiritual and have had some very odd experiences. My mother passed away when I was a teenager and watches over me constantly. She's with me all the time and I feel she helped guide me to the man I am now married to.
I ended things with this "guy" and I moved on with my life.
He didn't.
I fell in love, and was now finally living a very happy and healthy life with a very good and loving man. (Still with today 7 years later and married.) For the next two/three years, this guy stalked me. He tried everything to get me back. He lied and told me he was broke, but then showed up at my house in a beautiful new SUV vehicle. Then he tried to tell me he was dying and that he had brain cancer and I couldn't leave him he only had 18 months left to life. Also, another lie.
I cut all ties from him and he continued to find ways to find me. I changed my phone number at least 4 times. I changed my email address and got off social media. One day I got an email from my now husband saying that he wanted to end our relation ship. The only thing that tipped me off was that my now husband used to spell my name wrong. Always. And it became our thing. His way of calling me. In this email, my name was spelled correctly. I knew it was not true. Which it wasn't.
I tried to track back where the email had come from but aside from the email name being my now husband's name, it wasn't his email. Then over the next couple of years I got all sorts of things like that. Various emails from people in my life looking to meet up with me for lunch. People that I would question and then figure out that it was him trying to set me up to meet. I took work in another province and he found me at my job and called me on my private line one day. I finally said something to him that made him back off and I hadn't heard from him since. Maybe a couple of times but very subdued words. I never replied or reached out or acknowledged anything he ever sent me.
Now...here is where it gets WEIRD.
I am now married. So happy. Our life is wonderful. I live part time in the town I lived before, and part time in the town with my husband. (complicated - kids). Anyway, one day a few weeks ago he died.
Just like that.
Very sudden.
Just died.
When my kids told me that they heard through Facebook that he had died and they told me, it kind of freaked me out a little. Like, kind of scared me. I can't explain it. Very odd feeling. My kids never knew all the "bad" sides of him and I wanted to keep it that way, they had liked him. So they felt horrible when they heard the news. Especially since we are from a fairly small town.
I didn't know what to think. I wasn't "sad" per say when he died, but I certainly wasn't happy. It was just creepy. Like he had some connection to me and I didn't really like it. I had made my peace with him over the years (well, to myself that is) and moved on, but this was odd.
I felt I had to go to the funeral home to pay my respects. I wanted to walk in, say good bye, make peace, and leave. That's it. I didn't want to talk to anyone or go to any service. I told my close friend about this and she wouldn't let me go to the funeral home alone. So the two of us went, (literally like a block from my home.) I walked in, and as we stepped inside before the door behind us was even closed we realized that there was a minister talking and he was essentially giving a service. There were very few people there, maybe 20-25. The minister had never met him and didn't know anything about him and was trying to say nice things. It felt ALL WRONG. He would never have wanted that. He would have hated people going to this and he would never have wanted a service. I was extremely uncomfortable. Everything about it felt wrong. When the minister asked if anyone wanted to say something nice, no one went forward. It was very very sad and only pointed out how many people this man had tormented and hurt over the years. One of his sons said a few brief words but his other children would not speak.
When the service part was over I walked over to the urn, put my hand on it said goodbye and then I had this horrible cold feeling and I felt like I needed to get out of there right away. I saw his picture on the table and I turned around and walked passed everyone and left immediately as fast as I could without causing a scene. My friend followed right behind me.
She is very spiritually sensitive. When we got into her car, she asked me if I was okay and I tried to explain how it was the weirdest feeling I have ever had in my whole life. I felt I needed to go, but I HATED the feeling of being there. I was prepared to say "I forgive you", but I couldn't bring myself to even think the words in my head.
When she dropped me around the corner at home, she said, "you know he's going to come and see you. He will not be able to go without saying goodbye to you. I hope you realize that." I told her she was probably right. But then nothing happened. A few weeks went by, and to be honest I let him go and moved back on with my life.
Then it happened.
Last night waking like someone was standing over me and watching me I woke up startled and jumped and then I saw someone or something there. It was not a happy loving feeling. It was a controlling possessive feeling from someone that was not in a good place. I tried to make it go away by blinking but it didn't. Then what felt like a whole minute, it was gone. And no matter what I did I couldn't see it anymore, I just had the residual feeling left behind. I knew someone had been there.
Immediately I took my cell phone and started googling "apparitions" and things like that, but didn't really get anywhere. Except to confirm that I was sure I had seen someone.
Later on this morning I told my friend that went to the funeral with me all about it and she said, I told you he would come. He can't leave yet. We texted for a few minutes and she warned me that I need to "tell him to leave" and make sure I express he's not wanted. Then I told her about a painting I had done for him. Of the third eye, and how it had all sorts of spiritual aspects to it. She suggested I try to get the painting back, that it was not a good idea that it was out there. Almost like a gateway for him. He had given me a charm on a bracelet 'after' we had broken up of an angel, saying that if we couldn't be together he wanted me to know he would always watch over me.
My friend and I stopped texting and I turned back to my computer to get some work done and a new song came on. The song, freaked me out. The words were all about him needing to see me and watch me and no one in the world would understand him, but he needed to know he was there. That I was the closest thing to heaven he would get. I freaked out as the lyrics were exactly like his words could have been. I looked at the name of the artist and googled it to see the lyrics so I could read them again and see if I had heard correctly. I type in the first name and the first thing that popped up on my google list was the name I typed in, plus HIS LAST NAME! His last name! What on earth are the odds of that happening?
Then I had this heavy heavy heavy feeling of cold and that he was all over me. My back was extremely itchy and I started to feel smothered. I was brushing off invisible touches to me.
I texted my friend back right away and she has explained that I have to do something about this or he won't leave me alone. That he stalked me in life and if he's found away to stalk me this way. I can't let him in.
I would love so much to hear someones thoughts on this. Am I crazy? Could he really be watching me again? I have been extremely spiritually sensitive for many many many years, but have never seen an apparition. I have only smelled things and sensed presences, but never "seen" anything. So this has caught me way off guard.
Please, your thoughts and comments would be so greatly appreciated.
Thanks for listening.
Tosie
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