Loss Of Ability

For as long I can remember I could read energy. It was so easy and so natural that I never considered it an ability. It was how I perceived the world. Before I trusted my 5 senses I trusted my energy reading. When I hit puberty I discovered sexual energy. It's power was addictive. I lived in it for many years without every bothering to understand it. When I left the world of sexual energy exchange I began my study of my abilities. I was a skeptic but my teacher was patient and kind. He showed me what was possible and what I had been doing naturally. I fell in love with my gift. I began to focus it and experiment with it. For a brief and shining period I could taste the energy in plants as I ran past them. I could tell if someone was a smoker from across a street by their aura. I could effect and control my partners dreams. I have never felt more authentic than I did during this period of my life. I could feel myself glowing. Sex became something so much more spiritual and empowering. I learned to exchange energy with intention. I was happy and physically strong and healthy. Two years ago I took a business trip to Atlanta. I engaged in intercourse with another couple. When the male partner entered my body I knew something was wrong. I tried to ignore my instincts for a few minutes but I couldn't. I got up abruptly, dressed and left. My own partner followed concerned about my exit. I immediately knew something was wrong. I can't explain it but I felt as if I was sapped by something evil. Nothing happened to me physically or even verbally but I knew I'd been attacked. Targeted even. I haven't been the same since. For months I lived as if I was behind a plastic wall. I couldn't feel anything at all. Even cuddling with my child was a duty I performed without the ability to experience the perfect joy it once gave me. Sex with anyone was unappealing to me. I appeared unaltered but nothing was the same. I went to a woman who identified as a witch. She gave me herbs to cleanse my body and sage to cleanse my home. She said this spirit continued to feed off me even months after the incident. What she gave me had some effect. I regained my interest in my partner and some things have returned to almost normal but it's not like it was. I still cannot breathe through my right nostril. I can't feel the trees. I still read others but with much less accuracy and a great deal of effort. I cannot effect others the way I once could. I cannot control the effect they have on me. My joints have deteriorated dramatically and I can no longer run. A strange allergy has developed when I increase my core temperature I break out in hives. I'm at a loss. I spend most days wishing I could experience life the way I once did.