A Strange Melody On The Train

[at] ankh
Look. There is no one but you who can straighten out your life and feelings. At the end of the day its your decisions. No one elses. Nothing is impossible especially feelingz. Feelings change even if it takes time. Your other story of your supposed curse. Well yea there possibly might be it but you yourself is feeding the energy of the curse.

The mind is powerful. If you believe then the energy from your thoughts put it into action unconsciously or consciously. The world gives you what you strongly believe in. Especially your subconscious thoughts and doubts. One must retrain the mind to create the flow back again. Being grateful andsaying thanks to the universe everyday helps stBilize the mind. Being reminded again and again that you are better off then yesturday. If you have the time to be negative, worry, or stress you have time to pray to your creator or whoever you believe to solve your problems.

You need to stop hating yourself and believing what your parents said in the past. Heal your heart your mind, spirit, and body. Take one step af a time. We inflict our own pain because we believe we deserve it. Thats not true.

Let peace be with you when you walk on your journey

Noriko1111, I think you are right there. But I am finding it impossible to move on. It's only been two weeks since I had to find out that he only used me for a visa, and he left. I am still in severe shock, I still can't believe it. So eating healthily or relaxing is out - the shock is such that I have not been able to eat since he left. I am in a terrible state and have lost so much weight that people comment on how thin I look!
I keep telling myself that it can't be true, that something must have happened to him. He might indeed have become influenced by bad spirits - this is very likely because he was very homesick when he came to the UK, and one theory is that he suffered a breakdown, therefore was vulnerable and so became influenced by dark forces - demons or evil spirits - and so subsequently turned against me in wild hatred.

But fact is still that this is only a theory that I have come up with in order to protect myself from the extreme pain of having to face up to the fact that yes, he did indeed just use me for a visa, he did indeed never love me. That's still fact and I cannot escape the extreme pain.

I cannot see myself ever gaining some strength again or moving on with my life. I expected to be married for life, and now to suddenly stand here all alone, realizing my whole marriage was just one long lie, is just too much for me. Forgiving is equally impossible. How can I forgive someone who has done something so dispicable to me - despite knowing that I had already gone through a lot in my life? What possible excuse could there have been for his actions? That he wasn't well? He was perfectly well when he deceived me, he planned everything in an ice cold and unemotional manner, without any regards to my feelings. This is unforgivable.

For the first time in my life I cannot find the strength to move on. I feel broken and don't have any hope or strength left. I don't know what to do.

[at] Ankh

Well people do that. Not everyone is kind hearted. Everyone has an hidden agenda. I am not saying everyone is evil or mean, but we as a human race think 1st for ourselves. Then we worry about others. If it was a life and death situation, its a rare instance when someone think of another. But this does not mean humanity is lost. There are cases when we do "help" one another and do good things in return for a good cause.

It doesn't always means that they are possessed by a demon but could be influenced by the negative thoughts of demons or dark spirits. Think of it like this, your minds and other people's mind are influenced by good, neutral, and bad spirits. Majority of the time these thoughts we don't pay much attention to because we think it is our thoughts. If you learn how to quite your mind you can tell which is "your" thoughts and a thought that is not yours. It takes practice but you can tell. So in that aspect your husband can be influenced by a demon. This is what happens majority of the time. If you bring alchol, drugs, etcs... That makes you lose control of your body then yes possession is possible for that moment. Possession of a human body is not always easy. Its overpowering of one's soul to possess and trap a human soul in their physical shell. Influencing is much more easier to do then wasting energy to posses someone. The dark spirits or demon needs to have the power/energy to overpower the person without destroying the body. This is where people taking drugs, alcohol, the dulling of the mind, sickness, depression is used first to make it easier to gain access. Complete control happens when the person is at the weakest or acceptance and allowing them in.

To "heal" oneself is either going to be a long journey or a short one. It all depends on how YOU yourself take it or wallow in despair. You can take it a couple different ways.

1. Accept it. It happened and it becomes the past. Forgive him, but do not ever forget (this is the hard part but true forgiveness heals one heart). Work out to lower stress. Eat healthy to keep your body healthy. Do meditation to challenge the mind and to find peace in oneself. Etc... Break apart from him and move on with your life. Basically do not pick up the phone, do not answer the door, or have anything to do with him for a very long time. BUT you must face him one day only when you are ready. Avoiding him like a plague is an excuse. True healing of the heart is acceptance and forgiveness and moving on with life. Revenge only makes your hatred stronger. But if you want to think of it this way, the best revenge is to LIVE and be HAPPY. It makes anyone angry and jealous of you. Who doesn't want to be happy especially to the person that created the unhappiness in the first place.

2. Wallow in your despair. Probably constantly think of how bad he is and how he had hurt you. Replay those thoughts over and over again. This amplify your negativity. Then as time goes on with the same process of how much he hurt you it becomes hatred. Hatred is a strong driving force that corrodes your heart and the opposite can be true of love. The cycle continues and you start seeing men as some kind of evil being who you can't trust. (Not all men are like him period.) Then if you want to do harm to him you just became exactly like him. The same level as that jerk in which case congratulations you have become a human that has been easily influenced by demons and dark spirits. This is one of the way humanity falls into the trap of negativity. There are millions of way to make you go down this path. The cycle goes on and you harm another person with your negativity or you can halt it with just you.

BUT all in all its comes down to you. Healing is not easy, but to strive to heal and be at true peace comes down to you yourself and knowing who you are. What you want to do and how you want to do it. Healing takes time and could be going on for years depending on how long you need it.

All I can say is good luck. The answer you are looking for is always in one self. We don't always need an outside opinion to divert what YOU want. Same with the information I have written.

Let peace and light walk with you.

Very interesting comments, thank you.

I don't know what I think of first when I think of the sound, or when I hear it. Each time I came across it I at first wondered what it was, and then when it became more frequently I became distressed - especially when I heard it in the office! I couldn't believe it and thought, something is going on here.

Indeed it is very evil what my husband has done. I have no idea yet how to get better, how to heal from having been so deeply wounded. I can't understand how anyone can do such a thing to another living being - and how such a person then lives with himself! Apparently, lying and deceiving is encouraged in his "religion" - really an evil cult - as is exploitation of others. I still don't understand though how despite this anyone can hurt someone else so tremendeously.

This leads me to another question - is he possessed by some kind of demon, some evil being? Does this exist? I often had the impression that he was possessed by some evil being. Especially so since he didn't just use me for a visa, thereby misusing my feelings, but he has been for a while absolutely obsessed with harming me in any way possible.

Ankh,

I don't know if it was a warning or not, and I don't want to influence your opinion either way. Listen to your intuition.

However, I can tell you that I have clairaudience and often hear melodies and noises that seem to come from nowhere. You're definitely not alone on this.

Namaste.

-Em

find out what the Melody is. Yes it possibly was some kind of warning. Not sure who is warning you. Pray about it. Prayers for you. Such a terrible thing for someone to do to another human being. How terrible of your husband to do to you. Marrying you for a visa. Rotten man.

The question how do you know it is a sign? Well what do you think of first when you think of the sound? Does a name pop up when the sound is heard or do you remember the tune it plays from a childhood? The only way to know is yourself. Pay attention and keep a close eye out on it. I am going to be brutally honest, LEAVE your husband behind and move on. You can be your true self you don't need him to survive. Something or someone better will come. It is what it is. Forgive and move on and begin the process of healing yourself. With this you become stronger and wiser. Don't let someone like him break you apart. Let peace walk with you every step you take.:D