I think I've always been a little different. When I was very little, I would ask my mom strange questions about life and told her that God talked to me (I'm not overly religious, so I don't really believe this meant anything). I also remember knowing a lot about people and how they worked. When I was around three I even made "guidelines for life" for myself because I saw how people changed and could get a little lost as they got older, and I wanted to remember the things I knew then. I also felt connected to animals, which I'm sure isn't that rare, and I never spoke to anyone outside of my family until I was about four because I felt I didn't need to.
I think about two years ago, when I was thirteen, was when I started really thinking about those things. And I still notice strange things now. A lot of times I can tell when my mom is in pain, and more than once I've reached out and put my hand on the exact spot that hurts without her telling me. I don't know how or why. It's not like I can "feel" the pain, but there are some times when I just somehow know it's there.
And a little more recently, there have been random times when it's been silent and I've heard a voice flit through my head. It's usually a single word or sentence, and it has nothing to do with what I'm doing. It's never my voice, either. Most of the time it's distinctly a thought, but once or twice I've heard a voice that sounded like it wasn't in my head, like a real person. For instance, once I was at school in a silent room and I heard a man's voice say, "He's coming back here" right beside me. I never feel scared by these things, but I don't know if it's all just in my head. The same thing happens with images as well, kind of like visions. I'll be doing something when suddenly a random image flits through my head, and for just a second it's all I can see. Once I saw myself standing in a field looking at the night sky, another time it was just wind blowing through grass. And whenever it happens, it comes with an overwhelming wave of emotions. For the field one, I felt overwhelming wonder and confusion. None of it makes sense to me. And once or twice I've even had the same dream as someone else. Is that normal?
I don't know if any of this means anything, but for my whole life I've felt different. It's hard to explain. I always have this feeling like the world is too big and too small at the same time, and that I can't figure out what I'm supposed to be doing. And I feel like something big is coming, but I don't know what. I'm a happy person and I love my life, but there's something that makes me wonder if there's something a little different about me. If anyone can relate or has any answers, I'd be more than happy to hear them.
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