Intrigued And Confused By Dreams And Colors

Since I was a young child, I have had many experiences that I did not realize were not considered "normal."

I have always had night terrors, especially when I had a fever. I was inconsolable and my mom describes it as if I was awake, but I was clearly asleep. I remember some of these night terrors, one I had a sensory experience that everything was very large (over-sized) and very hard, even couches and beds. To this day, the feeling makes my skin crawl. I have also always had vivid dreams. When I was still in my crib, I awoke (or maybe it was still in my dream) and walked to the end of my crib which faced the end of the hallway. As I peered out into the hallway, I could see my mom standing very stoically next to a man that appear to look like TV's "Swamp thing" and he was holding my younger brother. I remember not being scared, but intrigued, even at such a young age. I also dreamt my blanket was on fire and it appeared so real that I was visibly shaken.

Next, my experiences carried over to my waking life. I have always had a memory that was incredible, I could remember the directions to my aunt's house and I even remembered where we took a family picture and we only went there once and I was only two and a half at the time. My first truly conscious experience with the paranormal was when I was in my parents' bedroom playing around. I went over to their old typewriter next to their mirrored closet. As I typed out my name on the keyboard, I heard some whisper, "Anna!" Although I ran from the room screaming and I never was able to sleep alone until I was in high school, I got the sense that this person was friendly and likely could have been my grandma who passed away suddenly at the age of 52.

Since then, my experiences seem to have translated back to my sleeping and dreams. Two years ago I began to have trouble sleeping through the night. I eventually chalked it up to my boyfriend at the time being in a dangerous line of work and him living 3 hours away. Yet, the dreams began to involve people. One night, I dreamt someone ran at my bed full-force and right when they were about to reach me, I sprang out of bed, my heart was racing faster that it ever had. My next dream involved a little boy standing next to my bed, sobbing. His hair was wet and as I touched his head, I sprang out of bed and turned the light on before I was even awake. I awoke staring at the side of my bed looking for the little boy. I often hear people talking before I drift off to sleep, I understand this might be part of a normal hallucination that is common in sleep disorders.

Now, after moving again, I am having restless sleep. The first night in my new room, I dreamt a little, toddler boy was walking around my bed. I quickly woke up, heart racing again. The next night, right before my cat jumped up on my bed and woke me up, in my "dream" I noticed three figures standing at the side of my bed, one of which I assumed was my teaching partner. She gestured at my cat and simply said, "Look who joined us." I was awake the second the cat jumped on my bed.

I am wondering if spirits are coming to me in my sleep and trying to talk to me. I am wondering if I am susceptible of making unconscious contact with the spirit world.

Some other tidbits about some phenomena I have experienced... Again, since I was little I have seen colors when I close my eyes. Sometimes they look like veins being illuminated, and I understand these are considered just left over signals from my eyes and the light left over before I closed my eyes. Other times though, I get images that are too vague to make out. I have been seeing a lot of clean-cut squares. The coolest images I see are simply breath-taking and I find myself closing my eyes just to see these images. The best way I can describe it is like this: I see golden images that look like far-off galaxies and celestial bodies. I am not meditating during this time, I just simply close my eyes and the images come. I do not stay awake long enough to notice if these images go away after my eyes are close (rendering these images simple hallucinations left over from the light I took in before my eyes) because I fall asleep.

Lastly, I am able to see auras, but only white light at the moment. I see them on everyone and anything. I have to concentrate to start consciously seeing them, but when not trying to see them, I vaguely see them on everything and everyone. When I was able to sit in front of a mirror and see my own aura, I was starting to see a little bit of blue. Speaking of blue, I often see a spot of blue out of the corner of my eye that I always refer to as "the blue ghost," although it doesn't move as if it is a spirit, rather just as something that is there.

These have been my experiences and I am trying to make sense of them. I know I am not alone in a lot of these areas, I am happy to share so others do not feel alone!