God Dreams, Hyper Lucidity, And A Weird Few Years Part 1

All my friends think I'm weird. If everybody in my family were apples I'd be a blueberry. No one can tell why I'm so strange, and neither can I. So, I just go with the flow. I think I've needed an outlet for this because honestly I'm not on a basic level of weirdness, (I wish I were sometimes) but the only thing I really have trouble with is WHY I'm this way. I don't try to be different. There are those people who want to stand out so much that they go out of their way to have everybody looking at them. I try my hardest to blend in, and I do a pretty good job of it, but lately I've felt so out of it. Something inside of me is screaming to get out. I know it's my soul. It's constantly talking, through feelings, words, and signs. I KNOW I'm different, but it's that kind of different that alienates me from even other weird people when I'm truly myself, and I've been suppressing a majority of who I am for so long I'm not entirely sure how to undo it. I really don't like talking about myself, but I feel I need help now, and I enjoy this little community of awesome psychics.

I'm thankful for everyone who reads this. Maybe you know somebody like me. Maybe you are somebody like me. Gosh this is going to be a little lengthy... Well first of all I get uncomfortable talking about myself or thinking about everything that I am because deep down inside I know I have this crazy strong power, and I know that everybody has it. I'm a late bloomer psychically, but when I want to I have a very strong grip on my abilities. I started my spiritual search just a few years ago when I was 15. I've had plenty of traumatic experiences throughout my life, but I hit my head skateboarding the summer after my freshmen year in '09. This was much different. See I've had random moments in the last few years where I literally get seized by an extremely intelligent and powerful force. That force caught me by surprise while I was skating that day and launched me headfirst into a bowl (like a pool for skateboarding) off of a 6 foot high ledge. The same force threw my arm out close to the last moment and probably saved me from dying. My arm took most of the impact. I hit my head in the temple area and had a knot literally the size of a golf ball. It seemed to me that I blacked out for an extended amount of time, but the people that were there said I started moving about a minute after I landed. I don't know what happened in the darkness, but I felt different when I opened my eyes. I didn't feel like me anymore. I'm going to skip the rest because it's not relevant.

At the end of the next school year in '10 I had an amazing epiphany which came to me out of nowhere. It was "it began as one and split." It was just a whisper in my mind while I was daydreaming, something I never would have thought of on my own. I sat and let my mind open up to the phrase as pictures and other thoughts surrounded it, showing me how vast a concept it was. I went to school the next day brighter than I had been in a while. My friends laughed at me as I whispered the phrase to them. I didn't want anybody outside of my circle knowing about the phrase until I had crafted it into something worthwhile. At the beginning of next school year around August I decided to become Buddhist. I had strange urges to read spiritual material and self-help books middle-aged adults would read. I felt like I needed to grow up fast, like the world needed me to. I didn't actually start looking into psychic phenomena or energy work until after my soul had directed me to all the literature and experiences I needed to create a proper foundation for understanding the fundamentals of reality and how to apply it to human nature. Human nature is the same as the nature of the universe.

I spent the second half of '10 as a junior, and for the most part just reading and doing my best to understand what I was reading. I completely let go of putting energy into social interaction and school, finding a greater love for wisdom and deep understanding. I felt that what most people were focused on were petty and trivial things that brought no real meaning to life. During that time I researched every single subject my soul brought to me and brought me to with a great passion. Everything I was reading felt like a refresher, but if I had read any of it before my accident I know I wouldn't have been properly equipped to understand it. I also wrote a lot of poetry, which also came to me spontaneously and still does. I even learned to think without hearing my thoughts before hand. I established a way of quick reading the feeling of the thought that was about to come, so I knew what I was going to say without hearing the words in my mind. I had a lot of weird thoughts during this time, many I still haven't come to terms with. I wanted a master so I'd be able to understand everything clearly and move on to help other people. There was no one available, and I felt like the oldest person around me. My soul told me to become the master I desired. My soul would whisper to me all the time during the last few years. It'd tell me the best moves to make, when I was in danger, what other people were feeling and how to help them. I had visions where my soul would show me faces of people I knew, or where I would see a face of someone and I would be told it was who I was in a past life. One of the people my soul said I was I still have a conflict about because it was somebody famous. Out of nowhere I also became sort of a guru in my group of friends. I use the word guru because it is what they called me. Understanding wasn't something I had to look for anymore. It was just a part of my being.