Be A Source Of Light

First, I want to talk to all of you. If your experiences are authentic, do not take medication for it. Something is obviously trying to contact you or persuade. Sometimes we feel scared out of ignorance, not evil surroundings. Even when dealing with evil you must remember one thing: LOVE.

My life has been littered with weird experiences. I have lived in this house for 18 years now and have seen, felt, heard, and summoned things that were both good and evil. As we grow older, we tend to forget or believe we were mislead in our younger thoughts. When I was around the age I moved in here (only down the street from my old residence), at five years old, I would see an old man every night walk our short hallway from the bathroom to my parents' room. I was never scared of him, but I would not disturb him. I always remembered it but when I got older I thought it was just my imagination as a kid. When I was eighteen my mother told me something startling: she had seen him as well. But I no longer see him.

I guess everything started when I starting going to a Catholic school and attending church regularly. I began attending at six years old and I cried every time I went to church as soon as the sermon started. I remember I would get this overpowering negative feeling and I would feel horrible... I would tell the teacher my stomach hurt and I would go to the infirmary. This happened for years. Sometimes I would tough it out... And one time I heard an older man talking to me. He was very violent and would give me these urges to hurt people and I would such strong violent force in his words and in my energy. I would have to fight for control so I wouldn't punch through the back of the skull of the person in front of me. I attended that school 1st grade through 8th. I would always have this urge to run somewhere... Always to a location I did not know, but it was North. I would fight it and fear for my sanity. I "knew" things that I am only now learning about at 23.

All this evil attached itself to me. I remember trying to raise dead. I remember being so furious at my brother out of nowhere. We were all asleep and suddenly I was awake in the dining room telling all evil that it could have me... So I could do horrible things.

That was when I was young, but I have been carefully watched and followed ever since. Once a friend was sleeping over. He was into all that stuff and I don't think I really told him much about it, but he could feel it in me. He knew things were bugging me and in a strange way. We felt something and ran to my room and jumped on the bottom bunk of my bunkbed. The bunkbeds were not one right on top of the other, but the bottom bunk was only covered halfway by the top bunk. We pulled the covers over us and laid there on our bellies, too scared to move. We both felt one foot on our backs as though something was checking the top bunk. We told each other at the same time. He went home.

My brother would scream at night sometimes saying something was pulling his hair or something was poking him in the back or lifting up his mattress. It happened no matter which bunk he slept on.

I would not believe any of what happened to me now because I was so young and I would write it off to my imagination if not for once instance that happened when I was twenty. This I know to be true beyond a shadow of a doubt and I keep it a secret because of that. The other stories I share because I know they can be written off and many people have children stories such as those (albeit maybe not so dark). I was on my back porch one night late. I walked into our utility room/outside bathroom and was staring at my face in the mirror. It was strange so I kept staring. Then all I could see was the mirror, it stretched from wall to wall, floor to ceiling. My face was changing. It changed into some horrid thing, it was purplish and its whole body looked like a scar. It was furious or in pain and looked to me in desperation and hatred (it seemed). I do not know what it wanted and I could not move but it reached out of the mirror and touched me on the chest where my heart would be... I felt as though I were decaying from the inside out. The thing was screaming though it made no noise. I fell to the ground and could not move for some time.

I am in the same house but a different room than I used to be in. I now stay in the room that used to be my parents'. We have added a new room to the house that they stay in. My brother has moved out and my old room is the guest/storage room. Things used to happen in there that I can barely remember because I have blocked them out. What I do remember is things used to visit me nightly and I vaguely remember something touching my arm when I was little. Before my brother moved out, he and his girlfriend were living in this room with their baby boy. One evening the family was out back and the baby was sleeping. I walked inside (I often feel funny or distant) and the baby was shrieking (he was months old) I ran into the room that I am now lying down in and as soon as I crossed the threshold I was freezing (I only felt this cold when I was younger--these things feel warm to me mostly now) and I was scared out of my mind--almost into a panic. The baby was looking around frantically as though following something (as he still does and is still scared in his own home) I told whatever was in there that they would have to get through me to get to my nephew and swore and gathered up as much energy as I could within myself to show me a bigger threat/target than the baby. I grabbed the child and as soon as I crossed the threshold again, we were both fine.

Nightly I am messed with/visited. I'm not sure what kind of entities these are. I know of what power I used to have, not sure what I still have... I know I have lost much out of destroying myself... I know at one time I had a ball of light inside me... I could feel great power. I swear to God I floated for a second out of reflex/fear when I was younger. I was crouched down and jumped backwards out of fear and I went so much farther in such a weird fashion. I'm starting to ramble, sorry. Inside my rooms things get in my face so I can't see anything around them, but they do not harm me. They make me nervous, though. Outside, it's another story and another thing entirely. It's a completely different energy. Inside things feel spiritual (ghost, angel, demon, whatnot) outside feels very physical though I cannot see it. It feels like I am being studied as a potential threat to something. I do not know, but I can see them sometimes... Huge things. I do a lot of random research and I believe in a lot of things. Reptilian? Who knows? I don't want to sounds too crazy to you all because I want to help you guys.

There are things happening in this world that people do not want to see. I have always been called crazy and called myself crazy out of fright. Please know that you are not crazy. Know that nothing good will tell you to do something you feel is wrong. And know that evil things can only get you if you do not tell them not to. If you silence your fear, you will be better off in those situations. You are powerful. Know that the real crazy life is living as these sheep do. You know that's not everything and so do many, many others but forces are in effect to keep us quiet out of shame and fear. I know that every time I have talked about this stuff, things have gotten worse for me...I'm not saying the same will happen to you, but I know I'm here to help and they know it to.

Medications will make you forget all you have learned about this and all you have experienced. They will make you forget your power until one day you are attacked. It has happened to me many times. I have taken medication for years and forgotten and BAM! It comes right back when I am defenseless... And I have started on meds again and the same thing happens. What you can do is be positive and strong and a source of light. Nourish your mind, body, and soul and gather energy for positive sources. No matter how far, we can still help each through focusing. You are not lost. Do not give up. I am not trying to claim to be anything special, please don't think me to be some jerk. I know what it's like to be toyed with into insanity it's just them trying to break down your personality and weaken you because of your potential. Be strong and loving. I know what it is like to have them inside fighting for control, almost feeling as though your body is going to split and you shall become the demon. I have toyed much with these energies, both dark and light. I have taken darkness into my heart... And I have done all I can, now, to use it for light. There is always a way to love and be good. Remember, we are all one and we are all everything. If you connect, you are stronger. Be careful about reaching out when you are tired or weak, you might not be able to defend against darkness. But ask for strength and demand only light. Keep your third eye open. Please be strong. I love you all.