Is He Still In Jail? Is My Death Near?

My sympathies... I get how you must be feeling. And if I say "it's okay don't worry" it wouldn't help either. You've been through a lot, but that doesn't mean you still have to be alone in this. My advice is, please check it out if he is out of jail and if he holds something against you... So you can live in peace with no fear. It will be hard, but it is possible because it'd have made news. I believe you're just getting paranoid... But it's okay and natural. Just, keep in mind you're not alone. You need to debunk your doubts in order to feel safe again. I'd want to help you do that, so that means there are people out there who would want to help you. Take care... And if possible keep us informed on this page. =)

I agree that if you said nothing, he would have no
Reason to believe it was you whom reported him.
It only proves that he is in jail because another
Or possibly many had the same assault occure.

You sound as if you are still working through
The pain in your home.
You still could use unconditional support.
Possibly this program may be of assistance, Coda:
Necoda.org

Actually to combat fear, you can use a sympathetic
Magic, or if catholic working the saints.
This is using concentation, herbs, prayers.
So regardless if you dreams or real or imagined.
It will help you. In the spirit world we are never
Alone! We only need summon help.
If your catholic St Michael the Arch angel.
En.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Michael_ (Roman_Catholic

Try this link: www.vinelink.com/vinelink/InitMap.do

It should give you some information. Good luck!

Aww sweetie I can identify with you on so many levels. I too have had similar past experiences. I have to see my attacker in real life from time to time & although many years have passed it still haunts me. I can be completely fine & bang! I have an unsettling dream making me relive the whole thing. Or I could be making coffee zone out completely & it pops into my thoughts & affects me the whole day. I don't live in fear of him anylonger. Thats maybe because i'm older. I went through the motions of blocking it out, blaming myself, acting out or cutting myself off completely. The 1 thing I truly regret is not pressing charges. I lost so much due to him.

He was my best friends brother. She knew what he was capable of as she'd experinced it herself & never revealed it until I told her. I did give her an ultimatum either she told her mother or I would. Seeing how cut up she got & how she felt she wouldn't be believed made me want to protect her by keeping it all a secret. It destroyed my teenage years as I fell into self destruct (I wonder where she was to repay the favour). My point for telling you this is although I can't do anything for you I can show you that myself & others can identify. You will never feel judged here. Remember it wasn't your fault. You were vulnerable. Your hurting & the fact that your having to bottle it up is only making it harder on you.I'm truly sorry you can't tell your parents. Again I can identify with this personally. The step you've made sharing this has started a healing process.I'm from Scotland & am assuming that like here there would be a helpline you could call anoynomously if you wish to talk to a councellor. Facing your fears is within arms reach but first you have to strip it back & accept what's happened & that you were a helpless victim. Think of what you'd say to one of your friends, what advice would you give? Then apply it to yourself.

You are going to overcome this & emerge stronger. Your still here which makes you a survivor. Here for a higher purpose.I'm sending you lots of love & understanding. TAKE CARE OF YOU!

To get into the hospital the first time, I told my counselor that I had taken 2 separate overdoses the previous year, plus really bad anxiety and depression. The 2nd time I was in the hospital was because I took a whole bottle of Tylonel, and the third time I was in the hospital was because I told someone what I really was feeling, that I was kind of sad and hated everyone, so my principle sent me back and I was there over my birthday and Christmas.
But, all this stuff was because I was neglected as a child, verbally/emotionally and minimal physical abused, bullied since kindergarten, and I was forced to raise myself and taught that I didn't matter.

Psychic stuff aside, I'd still contact the police and file a report. If you were watching his arrest on the news (one would assume it would be local as these things don't usually get broadcast in other states and you have a relative time-line, they can track down the offender.) They can't do much about it but it would be at least noted in his case file.

But let's back up here. If you never told anyone then his arrest and conviction was based on some other event, not yours so he has no reason to think you snitched. He got arrested for "something" and if it wasn't you then it was someone else. I think your vision of the attacker is more past fear than a reality and that's totally understandable. How very unfortunate you're starting your young life with such misfortune and to top it off, no one to talk to!

Back into a mental hospital? I can understand why you'd not be running to your parents for help. This is very unfortunate. Parents should be your guardians, safe haven and trusted listeners. I don't know what you originally did to get in that place but you're a legal adult in a few years and can do as you wish.

Sometimes, and I'm one of them, people are brought up as islands unto ourselves. We have karmically picked a path that will either break us down or move us quickly to the next level. This depends on where you are at spiritually. Often our most dire lessons are because we are in turn to help others that have gone through the same thing. Though it certainly doesn't feel that way now, you may end up being a counselor later on in life.

True, we can't do much for you but what we can do is listen and say that we're here for you.
Anne