I apologize if this is boring and redundant. I'm sure there are hundreds of people on this site who ask the same questions and a lot of you are probably tired of such. I suppose I'll start by giving a little bit of a personality blurb and move on from there.
I live in the Victorian section of a small little town made up of schools and farms that reminds me a lot of St. Augustine except without the forts and beaches. I spend most of my time studying, reading, designing and hanging out with friends.
I didn't always live where I do but I have been for somewhere around 7 years now and it was a bit of a shock since I moved from a large bustling city to a quirky little summer town. There isn't a whole lot around this place to do besides talk and explore some of the old antique houses that loom over otherwise empty streets.
Personally I see myself as an outgoing yet restricted girl meaning I have a lot of friends but don't ask me to do anything crazy because one day I dream of moving out of this town and being somebody important.
To get on with what I really wanted to write about when I hit 13 (I'm nearly 17 now) I started recognizing strange things and feelings that I never really took much notice to before. I remember the first very real time for me was in the very back seat of a school bus. I was listening to my ipod and ignoring the buzzing of conversations around me while watching everything from reverse through the back glass-paned door of the bus. I was watching a person who was just standing on the sidewalk in the middle of an old side road surrounded by empty fields. I didn't think much of it but I was wondering why he was just standing there and how far he had walked to get there. I turned my body away to poke my friend and point out the person to her but when I turned around again the person were gone. I can't remember now what he (I assume it was a he) looked like but I remember that day very distinctly.
Several similar incidents have happened since then. Usually somebody standing or walking somewhere that vanished when I looked away and looked back.
There was one time that I don't understand when I was lying in my friend's front yard with a few other friends and I had been watching somebody drive down the one way road when my friend hit me in the head with a basketball and when I stood up to throw it back at them I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the entire car was gone. I asked my friends if they had seen it and they all said that there hadn't been a car on the road in the first place and then laughed and assumed I was daydreaming. I know I wasn't because my friends cat was still rolling around a few feet in front of me basking in the sun and I remember the car was scarlet red and I believe it might have been a '66 Monza Convertible which before then I had never seen before in my life.
Why would I see a car driving down the road that wasn't really there?
I've also had a lot of eerie deja vu like dreams.
They're never anything useful. Usually just fragments of things that happen several days later. The longest one that I can remember was a speech that my History teacher gave on the assassination of John F. Kennedy. I had dreamed about it and a few days later he relayed it in class word for word and as I sat there knowing everything he was about to say I couldn't help but feel cold and woozy like something wasn't right.
The one I enjoyed the most was a week before Christmas and my mother kept hoping her 6-year boyfriend would buy her a ring and one night I dreamed about her unwrapping a very large box to find a small jewelry box with a gold diamond ring inside of it and the next day I told her that he was going to get her that ring that she had wanted oh so much and she actually got angry with me because she didn't want to hope for it and not get it so I didn't mention it again. On Christmas morning don't you know that's exactly what happened.
On a more negative note something else that I keep trying to brush off is the feeling of not being alone. I mean sometimes I know I'm alone but then there are times where I just expect somebody to be standing right behind me. You know like the feeling you get when somebody is about to enter the room you're in? It's sort of like that.
The last two things I wanted to mention is something I don't think has anything to do with me as myself but I wanted some opinions on.
There's a house directly behind mine and nobody actually lives in it but the front part of it is an art gallery. It's a rather large place and you can see through the windows that the last few rooms are unoccupied. The owners of it for one reason or another put those kind of sensor lights that turn on when something passes by them on the back door and every once in a while they'll turn on when nothing there. I can tell when they have because it shines through the window on the back wall of my room. There was one time where I was sitting at my desk writing poetry at 4:30am in the morning and they turned on out of nowhere. Nothing had moved in front of them or ran by them or else I would have seen it. After that I got this feeling like I was being watched but maybe it was just paranoia.
I also wanted to know if it's really possible to make things move or bend if you focus on them for too long. I could have sworn that there's been a time where I was zoning off but was looking at something and then it moved. Take for instance I have a green and gold office lamp on my desk with one of those gold dangling steel chains that turn the lamp on or off when pulled on. Once or twice I could swear that I was just subconsciously staring at it and then the chain moved. Just a tiny little bit but enough that I noticed it.
Thank you so much for reading this. I know it's terribly long but I really felt the need to tell somebody about what's going on because I feel like in my religious little town that I'm alone when it comes to things like this. I really want a few (at least) opinions on what could be going on as I feel like I'm still young and that their are lots of people out there who have extensive knowledge on these sorts of things and I hope that some of then can help me.
Thank You again.
Sincerely,
Symberlei
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