I'll tell you about myself so I don't have to keep describing my present self in the story. That seems like it'd confuse me and there might not even be any use of it. I'm just writing it down as I remember it.
I'm fifteen. I like drawing and painting. I'm not the type to brag. I'm more of the listening type, but if I feel strongly about something, I'll talk until I think my point has been proven or like explained thoroughly. I'm easily distracted and I'm pretty sure I have an attention disorder. I'm a natural observer. I'll pick up little details about everything. Oh, and I babble. Sorry about that. I think that'll be good enough.
So, I'm going to give as much detail as I can. I'm probably not going to make sense at all... Here goes nothing.
I'll start off with a small thing. Really small.
Around the age of nine or ten, I was really excited because my best friend could finally come over the next day. I went to sleep and I had a dream that she was wearing a red shirt and one of those... Leather caps. We were in my oldest sister's room and I was on the floor making weird faces at her. She rolled over onto her back and stuck her tongue out at me with her head off the edge of the bed. End of dream or at least all that I remember of it. Lame, right? Why would I dream about that? So when I woke up, I went about my day doing things kids usually do. Then my friend came over. Guess what she was wearing. Red shirt and a leather cap. I didn't even care, I thought to myself, "she's worn that before, I'm just remembering it from another day." But then she said, "Do you like my shirt!? I got it yesterday!"... What the hell? Then we went upstairs and I had this great idea. I asked her if she wanted to play dress up. She said no but said she'd watch me. We snuck into my sister's room and I was on the floor, looking through my sister's clothes, and I got bored of that, so we started making faces at each other. Then she rolled on her back and stuck her tongue out at me.
That's not even that big of a deal. But why is it pretty much plastered into my mind? Why does my mind find that to be such a huge event... So much that I can remember every detail? Well, next one:
When I was younger, around 7 or 8 maybe even later, I had this intense dream. My mom always says that I was always sick around those ages. So I might've had a fever.
Okay, the dream: I remembered that it was Halloween and it was night time or early morning, really cold, and I was outside in my backyard with someone. The person took out a lighter and held a thing up to its lips, and said after a bit, "Shit bro! I packed it too tight!" I heard myself say, "Seriously? Ummm, rip off a little of that hair tape and like... Put the extras in there." I thought to younger self, I must've gotten older. My voice is a lot deeper and then I just brushed it off. It's just a dream, right? After awhile, We were passing and sucking on this round thing and coughing a lot and smoke was coming out of our mouths when we breathed out. I was so confused. I thought, Why would I smoke? I have asthma. And the someone next to me had no face. I could tell it was a girl, but I just couldn't distinguish her face out. Like, I knew that we knew each other, but her face was just a blur, but I could see her entire outfit, the bench we were sitting on, and the exact way my backyard looked. I could tell it was my backyard by the huge oak tree behind us, but it wasn't my backyard. There was no bench around the tree. Where did that garden come from? And where was the swingset? She said to me, "are you high?" and I heard myself say, "no, I don't think so. It's not really working for me." I'll just put this conversation in a different format.
Her: What!? Show me how you're doing it!
Her: Ohhhhhhhhhh. You've got to cover the hole!
Me: Oh, hahahha. I couldn't find it!
Afterawhile of passing it back and forth...
Her: We should probably go inside, look at this. Its not even halfway done.
Me: Shit dude, seriously?! Wooooww.
Her: Yeah, I know! What should I do with it?
Me: I don't knowww. Finish it?
Blah blah blah, then she said, how am I supposed to carry this? I'm freaking out.
And I just said "put the unused stuff that's wrapped up and ball it up, and put it in the bowl, and wrap the rest of the tape around the bowl."
Then we walked up the stairs and tried to quietly go in and through my house. It didn't work.
When we finally made it up to my room, I was giddy and just stood in one spot looking around my room and laughing. Everything exactly how it was in my dream, was in my room. Every piece of clothing, every cup, even the way my costume bucket was arranged. Everything was the same as it was in my dream. Not only that, but I was seeing little videos in my head. On the bottom of my dresser, I was seeing a red truck just making left turns over and over again like I was looking at a tv screen in my head. Not a real truck, but like the ones in video games. **1 Grand Theft Auto to be exact. Right next to that video-in-my-head, there was another VIMH. It was of just a **2 fast flashing tv and the images of people doing the same thing very slowly. There were more, I just can't remember all of them. But what I'm thinking is that those little videos were my memories playing out in my head. I don't know, that sounds crazy, but that's the most sense I can make out of it. Also, they all seem to be pot related memories? Or at least those are the only ones that really stick out in my mind?
**1 Memory: I was at this kids apartment with a bunch of my friends. My friend had a bowl left over, so we smoked. One hit, and I was gone. I fell asleep then woke up to the kid playing GTA. Awesome, I thought. But then he wrecked his car, ran out, and stole a red truck. He just kept making left turns over and over again, and
**2 Memory: While at my friends, me and my two friends and their two friends smoked. I just kept coughing over and over again. After awhile, we went inside and sat on her couch. They were all talking about what to watch. My friend and her friend are into punk, so they put a Casualties dvd in. I just sat there next to my friend and stared. It just kept flashing over and over again. My friends kept doing the same things over and over again. They'd laugh, say something and a couple minutes later, do it again.
^^ Sorry, I got confused and started writing it as the real life thing. Oh well, it was the same as the dream so I supposed it really just doesn't matter. The girl with no face was my friend. I didn't know her when I dreamed of this.
After giggling and standing there for what seemed like an hour, my friend said, "Dude! What are you doing?! You're like screaming!"
I freaked out and I told her about this whole dream. And I started to write down what was happening in my head. My friend kept saying, "Crista, we have to pick out our costumes. We have to paint. Come on," but I kept saying no, hold on. I have to finish this. But I tried writing and it wouldn't work, I would either write really sloppy or not make sense. I remember myself dreaming of me writing that note. Every way I crossed my t's, every way I dotted my I's. Everything. Until we went to bed, I remember myself dreaming of everything that was happening. It was like... Rewatching a movie you haven't seen in a long time. You forget the details, but when you see it, you're like "Oh oh oh! I remember! Then this happens!" Then you forget a bit but it all looks familiar. We did this for some time. Then we slept.
I woke up, and I was still acting strange. That always happens to me though, I'm always a bit kooky whenever I wake up after a night like that. But my friend was perfectly fine, a little shooken up, but not as bad as me. I told her that I still felt weird. She didn't get why I was still acting like that. And I remembered we had to find a costume. We found it, and I remembered how I dressed in my dream. No matter what I did, I couldn't change what I wore. My friend kept suggesting being an indian, but I was trying not to be that. No matter what I did, I could not change anything that I did. Everything that came out of hers and my mouth was the exact words that we said in my dream. Every twitch, every laugh, everything.
Well, you can guess that I ended up wearing the costume. Then we went to my sister's house with the rest of my family. Then several hours later, we went trick-or-treating. Mind you, I've never gone trick or treating in the town she lives in. I knew exactly where I was going. I've seen every building in my dream. In my dream, I saw a brick on a building that said "2010", old buildings don't have future dates on them, do they? Why was that in my dream? Was I trying to give myself proof that my dream was real?
Anyways, we had this intense conversation on life and it was like I knew she was going to say what she said, it was like... A puzzle, I just kept getting a bunch of new pieces as time went on. They fit right into place. All of this fits into place. I'm getting impatient with writing so much, so I'll condense.
After we left and went back home and after my friend left, I painted. I was painting nothing in general, but I had an idea of what it was going to be. Then I went crazy trying not to make it how it was in my head. It didn't work.
Okay, so today's the 2nd of November. I'm remembering bits and pieces of everything everyday. Today, was one of two testing days. Only sophmores take this test. We had to go into our homerooms first thing and I had the feeling that I wasn't supposed to be in there. Soon, another teacher came in and my homeroom teacher told me that half the class had to go with the other so there'd be more space. I've never been in that teacher's room before. Why did I remember it then? Why did I remember all of those questions perfectly, like I read them regularly on my free time or something? Why did the picture I drew end up exactly how it was as I remembered it in my head? Why did I remember my friend dropping/spilling the orange juice slush they gave us? Why do I remember writing this stupid story article thing?
I don't know. I'm done writing. I'm just hoping that this stops. It's been three days so far. How long could this dream have been? Does time matter in dreams? Who knows? Do you?
I think the people with blurred faces were people I didn't know when I was younger. I couldn't distinguish their features because I hadn't seen them before.
I know this sounds like one huge story about pot, but I really wouldn't have said anything about it if it didn't seem to be such an important part of my dream/memories. I just don't get why my mind would remember this or 'see' these things if they weren't/aren't going to be important. It's the dreams and the memories and the real life experiences that come after that I want to hear about or get advice on.
EDIT: Okay, this is really confusing, but I'm going to give you a timeline because I can't add somethings in that would help.
1995- born
Age 7/8/9- Dream about present
Age 9/10- Dream about friend
Summer of 5th grade going into 6th- My house burnt down
6th grade- Julyish - the house was being torn down and rebuilt, bench was built around tree
7th grade 'til now - I live in that house
How did I have a dream when I was seven/eight/nine when the house I lived in did not exist? And I even think that the high school I go to didn't exist back then. It was built in 2001. How did I dream about that?
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