(Some of the names used in this story have been modified to ensure privacy)
I can read people's futures, among other things. I never really believed in it I kept telling myself it was coincidence, an overactive imagination or that my mind was filling in the blanks in my memory of my vision to make it seem more accurate that it actually was. So, I decided to test it. I did a reading of every one of my friends at school and recorded them in a notebook. Most of them were of their deaths or some traumatic even, all in graphic detail. I apologize, but I cannot bear to rewrite them here. I can hardly even write about them without tears coming to my eyes.
Several months past and I forgot completely about that notebook. I was more preoccupied with getting my high school thesis finalized. The excitement was building as we were going to be our school's first graduating class in history, at least that's what the founder, Dr. Grey, was excited about. We seniors just wanted to get out of there.
After prom, just days before the graduation ceremony, Nick had a heart attack. In a flood of dread the memory of the notebook came back to me, Nick was the third entry. I scrambled to find that book before we left to the hospital. I grabbed it and we went straight to the hospital. I read the vision entry, fearing the worst. I looked at every detail, seeking to disprove my foresight.
The room numbers matched, my heart sunk, but I told myself, "Just wait and see." "He will pull through." "The number is just a coincidence." I told no one of the entry. I kept silent among Nick's throng of friends. The doctor said there was a slim chance he would live. His brain had been deprived of blood flow and oxygen too long, even if he lived he would be brain dead. But I held hope, sitting in the conference room at the ICU, piles of junk food and soda on the table, I held on to hope. "This psychic babble can't be true." I said to myself. It was a few hours before I entered Nick's room, despite the warnings of his other friends and family I had to see if the vision were true. I looked at the numbers on his machines, the layout of the room, the lone cobweb in the corner, the faces of the others standing there. It all fit. Down to the letter, it all fit. I couldn't help but cry, not only for Nick, but for all of my other friends whose deaths and tragedies would now and forever be etched into my mind. Nick died at 4:20 AM. I've yet to do another reading since.
Any suggestions on how to deal with such knowledge?
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There is this saying that I like, it might sound odd to you but it makes sense, "You should cry when a baby is born, because of all the hardships that they have to go through life. You should cry for joy, when a person life comes to an end because they do not have to go through all those hardships anymore." but then the conclusion of death comes down to how you lived your life. Will you go to heaven or go to hell. And if you don't believe in such places, then I can do nothing about that.
Lastly acceptance of what abilities you have. You can't run away forever. You got to deal with your fears one day, if you want to move on. It does not need to be now, it has to be when you are ready. To you it might seem awful to see someone's death, but at the same time it is not. It just tells you to live your life to the fullest with them and absorb as much things from them to remember by. It will take time to heal, but it is possible.