Ever since I posted my "how can I control my gift" I started meditating, like people kept telling me to. It wasn't having any effect until a few days ago, but it's the opposite of what I expected. I practice tai-chi, and unlike the last few times I practiced.
I felt "empty" so to speak, it felt as if I couldn't use my chi, I tried and tried but I couldn't even move it to my hand. But when I meditate I can feel my energy growing stronger and stronger.
Today when I meditated I had no control of my thoughts, and I was trapped in my head, it was like I was watching a movie. I saw myself running to this huge dome, when I got to it I opened the door but I couldn't get in. I could actually feel something holding me out.
I've been sensing spirits more often as well, and I don't understand it but they seem to be attracted to me as I meditate. It's been scaring me a bit and I can sometimes see them through my eyelids if that makes any sense.
So what is happening? Why can I feel my energy growing but can't seem to use it? Why was I trapped inside my own mind, and what why couldn't I get in if it was just my mind? Why are spirits coming to me when I meditate I don't understand what is going on please help me before I lose my mind!
It's okay to be afraid. We always fear what we don't understand. To help you comprehend the things you fear you really need to research as much as you possibly can about them. Not to say that you haven't done so, but the more you can know about them the less there is to fear.
They can't hurt you if you choose not to let them. Stand your ground and if they're getting overwhelming tell them firmly to, "Go away". If they don't listen then command them to leave in the name of whatever God or Guardian you believe in/feel comfortable with.
If you haven't got one, ask Archangel Michael (who transcends all religions) to protect you. You may feel wings around you when he comes or see his flaming sword, but don't fear as he's not there to hurt you - he's there to help.