Negative Thinking

This is not necessarily a story I am proud of. But a few year back, My partner's ex wife dropped off her daughter after taking her out for the day. She passed some nasty and racist comments about myself and my children. (mainly due to her own unhappy situation) After she left I was feeling very angry and upset by her insults. That I actually wished for her to have an accident on her 2 hour drive home which involved being hit by a truck. Now I know you guys are probably thinking wow that's just evil. But it was just a spur of the moment feeling and I really didn't put much faith in it ever happening. So after a couple of minutes thinking that, I changed my mind and said to myself how awful I was to think like that and don't be silly I don't want that to happen. But about half an hour or so later she rang her daughter and said she was just side swiped by a truck and ran off the road and was trying to get the courage up to drive home cause she was still shaking. Lucky there was very minimal damage to her car and she was ok. I have never mentioned this to anyone cause I was still thinking Oh my god, did I do that. I have lots of other gifts. But I still can't accept that I do. Which is why I never really thought it could happen. Normally I would never wish harm on another human being or animal. However I do believe in justice and an eye for an eye. But only in extreme circumstances. I quite often have to be careful what I say as it tends to happen. Even if I'm just joking around.

I wouldn't consider this a gift.

But what is it.

Can anyone help me with what this gift or whatever you call it, particular purpose is.