I came here because I need help defining what it is that is and has been happening to me my whole life.
If someone that is close to me, I think I would have to say someone I love, gets hurt, I feel their pain. Sometimes when it happens I am not even aware that they are hurt. My most recent example being day before yesterday. All of a sudden the top of my right foot started hurting and I started limping. I couldn't figure it out since I had done nothing to hurt myself. Half and hour later my daughter called, she had broken her right foot. Two days later and it still aches just enough to remind me that it is there. On occasion, but not as often as the physical pain, I can feel emotions or sense what someone is feeling. This is rare though and a good thing, because I have no idea what to do with those feelings.
These kinds of experience have always happened to me and I assumed when I was young that it happened to everyone. Even so, when the realization hits that this person is hurt in this location on their body, I am amazed. I can't believe it myself sometimes and feel like no one else will believe me either.
Oh and bruises, I've had them just appear on me and have no clue how they got there. Then sometime later I will see a bruise in the exact same place on someone I am close to and it turns out they did it around the same time mine appeared. It's weird having the same exact bruise of some one else knowing full well that I didn't injure myself. This used to happen a lot when my grandmother was still alive and she bruised easily. It does happen with others though.
I have dreams that have come true and they are very vivid. The feeling of them is so real I sometimes wake up crying, screaming, laughing. These dreams stay with me like other dreams don't. I just feel wrong afterward, off kilter, can't concentrate for a day or more. The thing about these dreams is I never know when they will come true, just that they will. I suppose this could contribute to feeling off, but somehow it feels like more than that.
Deja vu happens to me all the time. Usually more than once a week. It used to be cool, now it just feels like a burden or like I'm missing some important point to it all. I used to say to whoever was around me, "I just had deja vu." Now I try to analyze it, pick it apart and find out why. Impossible, let me tell you. I have yet to find a reason, it is so random. Why should I go through life feeling like I've lived it all before?
When I was a kid I meditated not knowing what it was called at the time, and felt like I had out of body experiences. Like feeling myself flying. I'm not sure if this is even relevant, but at times I wish I could still do this sort of deep meditation. I feel like it was a big loss to me as I got older. Maybe, I would have a better handle on these other things that are bothering me. I don't know why I started and I couldn't tell you why I stopped. Even though I was flying while meditating it somehow grounded me. I don't know how to get back to that level or even start.
Any help or advice that anyone can offer will be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for reading my story.
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