I live life like it is happening twice. At least three times a week my dreams unfold in front of me like I rewound a tape and then pressed play, all is the same but the ending.
A week or two ahead of time I have a dream, me in some place I have been with some people I don't know or with people I know but in a place I have not yet been and anything in between. These episodes lasts from a few sentences to an hour on average, or it can be ether just a simple picture on the wall or some city street corner. Whatever the case in comes the rewind button and the pressing of play. Like I am watching the television my dreams unfold, but when I'm waiting for the end it never comes. Almost always when I have an episode it comes with a bad ending, cops busting in or a huge fight with a family member. Some bad ending that helps me to remember the rest of the dream, as if acting like a trigger. I have heard this theory that the future can change if it is seen, so I wonder is that why the ending changes or is it because I saw it and took the precautions to change the bad event from happening. Ether here nor there life is hard to separate from what a dream is and what really happened.
When I was young I had a lot of deja-vu, a little recollection of some minor event mainly. Then came the day when had my first full blown episode that sent me on a three hour event. It happened about six months ago and I lost a good friend over this event I was having. He told me when it was happening that he believed in this ability, but the look on his face was of disbelief and shock, I have never been judged in such a way. I have never really talk to anyone about it since I hope this is a safe way of doing so, and if anything else to just get it out of me.
These episodes put me back in a disconnected type of state, like your body is there but the mind is some where else, as if you are always looking threw the people you are trying to talk with. They are the television and I'm watching them from the couch not connected to them because they're a million miles away. The episodes mostly consist of me and my immediate family and friends. Not of future disasters or lottery numbers, I gain no real advantage on what is to happen. It is just a preview trailer to my future life. In which I live twice.
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