Trying To Speak To Me

I've always been "sensitive", as my boyfriend would put it. I always believed in energies other than our physical ones, but recently I've been contacted by something/someone. I haven't exactly tried to harness my ability and don't even like talking about it, but it happens anyway. Lets start with what I believe: I believe in The Secret, Abraham and Ester and I believe that we all return to "source energy" when we die. I do not pray, I do not go to church. I do believe there is something more to this world and for whatever reason I have a connection to it.

My experience begins with my childhood. I always thought it was just my mom's house being "haunted", but it seemed to follow me everywhere I went. Hearing people that aren't there say my name. Footsteps at night, doors opening and shutting, lights turning on and off and figures, mostly dark shadows of human outlines. The most spooky experience until recently was when I was about 17. I had gone to bed with my door locked (I was sick of waking up with it opening and scaring me) with my dog and my cat. I awoke to what sounded like a wolf howling and when I turned to stop my dog, she was curled in a corner shivering, so I plugged my ears and waited for it to stop (couldn't find my cat for at least a day, it scared her so bad) and was sure that mom had heard that horrid noise so I got up to get her, as I did this my LOCKED door came flying open. I ran into her room and woke her up, which should have been an indication she did not hear it. She said maybe it was my dog and to go back to bed. That shook me for quite a while. Then I would have dry spells, when nothing would happen at all. Recently however, I have been "dealing" with something very powerful.

My father passed away on Sep. 5, 2008, very suddenly and very young, which of course jolted my whole world. Since his death I have been experiencing things like noises in my house, noises I've never heard before. One sounded like someone running their hands across my mini blinds (the metal ones) for at least 3 minutes, it always seems longer and this was truly 3 minutes, I clocked it. Immediately after that, minutes literally, it sounded like someone was doing dishes in my kitchen. Items had been removed from under books without the books being disturbed, and finally the physical part. This is where it gets strange for me.

It's hard to describe what it feels like, but it reminds me of being on the Gravitron at the state fair (the ride that spins you around so fast that you're pinned to your seat then lifted off the ground) and at the same time it feels like someone is screaming in my ears. The only problem is that I can't hear them, I know someone is trying to talk to me but I can't make out what they're saying. It's different voices, sometimes female, but mostly male.

On Monday morning (9/29/08) it became clear to me that something NEEDS my attention, my boyfriend was in the front of the house getting his lunch ready for work and I was in bed, it was approximately 5:36 am. I was paralyzed, literally, I could not scream or move no matter how hard I tried, so I gave in. I tried very hard to listen despite the fear, and I heard a man mumbling, I thought at first it was a foreign language but I couldn't make out even a word so I've deduced it to mumbling or muttering.

This happens every morning after my boyfriend gets up, and it happens every time I meditate. I fear that something has a message and I need to here it.