Why Or If My Boyfriend Decided To End His Life

A little over 3 months ago I met the love of my life... Ro was and is the element that was missing from my life. We have so much in common that basically we're like twins basically joined at the hip. We shared so much love and joy However, my Ro did have a lot of emotional problems that he did share with me and I did my best to protect him. We had disagreements like any other couple. The night before he passed was a very stressful one. He had a lot on his mind evidently and drank way too much and became a little hysterical, and I did my best to calm him down. After a basically sleepless night, (I literally had to hold him down in bed so he wouldn't drink anymore), I was tired and cranky so I was a little short with him but not angry. I told him we needed to talk about some things and that when he got off work that evening, we could talk about it. The biggest regret of my life is that I did not hold him a kiss him like always when he left for work. I did not know that this would be the last time I would see my baby alive. Exactly An hour an a half later I had a awful gut feeling that something was off. Ro did not come home nor was answering his cell. Around 2 in the morning, I had fallen asleep and I heard his voice call my name. He always spoke French to me so I knew it was him. A day later he was found in a hotel room dead from sleeping pills and alcohol. I knew then that he had come home to say goodbye. My biggest question is was this an accident? Was it a call for help? I'm devastated that I will never know what happened.